Another Burden to Shoulder

Ps. 50:15
Call upon Me in the day of trouble.
I will deliver you
And you shall glorify Me. 

So fitting have all of the "God-Box" verse been, it makes me a little nervous to get one like this. Yes, whatever the day brings will be for my good*...but ....I admit it: I flinch at the thought of impending trouble. The Bible said "God causes the rain to fall both on the godly and the ungodly." (In that case, rain is considered a blessing in that agricultural setting) But trouble, too, comes upon both the godly and the ungodly. The difference is that as Psa. 50 states, the godly can call upon the Lord for help and He promises to deliver them. So while I flinch and wonder...my hand is securely in His and nothing can come to me without going through him first. I may flinch but I don't run screaming into the street. I've got this ---and He's got me.
*Rom 8:28

I do not want to make it seem like I'm using Scripture to "predict" the future. These are not tarot cards and I'm no prophetess or seer. I know that God does what he pleases and sometimes he lets us in on what he is doing, but many times, not. I'm using these verses to highlight the principle which states that regardless of what today or tomorrow bring to us, we have the privilege and power of prayer and when we call up on God, he is faithful to deliver us, if we are asking rightly and according to his will and if our hearts are clean before him.
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(Later)
Well, I guess the God-Box was a step before me again. I just got back to my dad's from an appointment with a shoulder surgeon. My right shoulder was replaced 4 years ago.....and it has been giving me severe pain. The left one needs to be replaced but the right one was hurting more. So they did Xrays and the doctor dropped the bomb. "Your rotator cuff has failed and the ends of the bone no longer are attached to it. You need an incredibly difficult surgery...the only doctor who would touch this is at NYU in Manhattan." he went on to tell me why it was so difficult and what it would involve. He left the room for paperwork and when he returned I asked him, "What will happen if i don't have the surgery?" He paused and then said that I would be in for a lot of pain. I told him, "I am already, ALWAYS in severe pain." He said "well, your arm won't die or anything..it just depends on how much you can endure." 

Decision made. We cannot afford the surgery. I have no transportation for numerous trips there. And having it is more risky than it would be to leave it alone. 

The preceding was quoted from my Facebook page this AM.  Please forgive me for the copy and paste....I couldn't bear to write it all out again.  I don't want to have to explain it to people either. 

So I'm collecting unused referrals to MD's in NYC....First the Rheumatology dept at NYU, then the spine surgeon and finally this.  In all cases I have decided not to pursue them. The risk is too great..  And I've finally learned the hard lesson that doctors are not always right about what is best for us.  Probably 75% of the suffering I've undergone is the result of pursuing current medical wisdom or of being treated in a hospital setting, (things like endocarditis, sepsis, pneumonia and MRSA and let's not forget encephalitis and spinal meningitis )

I don't hate doctors...they are brave, caring (for the most part), intelligent and are just doing the best they can to alleviate suffering. But they are not gods.  They are not omniscient and sometimes it is best to make an enlightened decision that differs from the suggestion of a doctor.

Here it comes.  The big, "LORD, WHY???"
He is bigger than all my questions and has answers to them all.  Someday he will share them with me.  But for now, he says, "Trust Me.  And Glorify My Name. I have invited you in to share My sufferings.  Regardless of what your future holds, I have you in the palm of My hand.  Never forget that I love you."
There is not much to be said after that.