Time for a more positive post. As I just looked back over the last several, I thought to myself : who would want to READ this much bad news and negativity?? So if you've stuck with me through it; thank you.
Today I had a fairly good day, despite the bad morning when I posted the last post in here. My daughter and I spent most of the day alone together and it was like the nice days we had together before she left home...except that I can see a real maturing and refining in her that was absent before...Also a greater degree of unselfishness. Last night when I was really hurting, she invited me to talk...not to talk in such a way as to put her in the middle, but just as an outlet, an ear. And it helped. And she also helped me to regain some perspective.
Sadly, today she had to go back to her new home...but happily, she is returning in a few weeks following next weeks hip surgery, for two weeks, to help me with what I need. She's not looking forward to this because she is easily grossed out by physical issues, but I will try to make it a good time for the two of us. My husband says she does not feel loved because I never made her feel loved. I love her more than anything on earth. I do hope she knows that. It's so hard to make our kids understand and absorb our love for them, especially when everyone in their world is giving opposing messages. Hard to believe that YOU are LOVED! While it is definitely true that my husband and I have differing means of showing our love for her and for each other, I hope that she can learn to realize that not everyone loves in the same manner, but that does not affect the magnitude of our love.
My laptop may possibly be fixed by a friend of my parents. I am praying that this will be the case!
I am going to make it a goal to "fix my eyes on what is good, lovely and of good reputation..." and to "give thanks in all things." Time to stop whining and complaining and time to start thanking God for what I do have.
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