in flight

Today was....well...interesting. I had my pre-surgical testing and was ultimately, after some hesitation and talk of making me see more doctors and undergo more procedures and tests prior to clearing me, approved as a surgical patient for next Tuesday the 25th. If you are a praying person, please pray that all goes well. The surgeon and the anesthesiologist both marked my chart with large letter: RISK. Yep, that's me; a risk.

Last night I was up for the entire night. I had to take a pain pill at about the time that I go to bed, which is never a good idea. I'm one of those strange people who CANNOT sleep after taking that type of medication. So I was up the whole night typing away on my NEO which is a mini-word processor, highly portable, given to me by my parents in pre-laptop years...It uploads to the computer, so it is great for my needs now that I am lap-less.

I wrote REAMS of stuff last night, and did a lot of editing of it today...worked on it the whole day as I waited in between appointments and during the two hours my dad and I had to kill between appointments. Problem is; when I just uploaded the stuff onto the PC, not only is it MASSIVELY infected with typos (probably due to the frenetic speed with which I was writing trying to capture thoughts which appeared to me to be BRILLIANT, before they disappeared forever.) So capture them I did.

UH. If anyone saw these pages and pages of writing, I would be on the way to the hospital for shore. Not much of it makes sense. It is really hard to follow the train of thought. I also talked at breakneck speed today; to everyone I encountered which is completely unlike me. The only other time I can recall being like this; revved up and talking in incomplete sentences was on the way to the Carrier clinic escorted by nice men with syringes and restraints. I'm really trying tro slow myself here, so that I don't make a repeat of that trip anytime soon. Problably it is due to the lack of sleep and the nervousness over the testing today and the surgery itself. Rgith? Right??

I think really what my problem is, is not that what I'm saying doesn't make sense but that I'm just having trouble grasping and understanding what I wrote. Probably due to an exhausted body and brain. I hope I will sleep tonight...the next week is packed every day with work to be done prior to the coming surgery. anesthesia will be nice....