I have neglected this blog.
I have had other things on my mind, frankly. This week I had two appointments relevant to my future abode. One was for public funding for me to move into a senior apartment. And the other was an interview/tour for admission to an assisted living center two towns away from here, in NY.
The latter facility is brand new, just opening this week or next week. The rooms are smallish and shared with a roommate. While I would rather not share a room, it needn't be horrible. I had two different roommates in the rehab/nursing home I was in following my ankle surgery. That place was not nearly as nice or as new or smelling so good, and the AC didn't work in my room in two of the hottest months in recent memory....and yet, still, it was not a terrible experience. I made friends with the therapists and nurses and aides and worked hard in PT. I read book after book on my Kindle. That place didn't even have Wifi--and yet I survived.
This place, by contrast, is much nicer and offers a lot more. But for some reason, I do not feel confident that I will be accepted there. I think my mental illness may stand in the way--although that would be discrimination that they said they do not practice. I don't know. It will depend on the funding working out---and whether or not I am accepted. My dad seems to not approve of it, feeling that the rooms are too small and it would be prison-like. I don''t know what to think.
My initial feeling was that I really wanted to go there....to get away from this house...this tiny stifling room that is such a mess....from a difficult marriage. Away from a house that I cannot manage or care for due to physical limitations. Now I have mixed feelings. And I think that that is a good thing...because if I don't get in, I will not be heartbroken and will, instead, see it as the working out of God's will. The other thing is that it would mean being "institutionalized" for the next maybe 20 or more years. That's a LONG time! But on the other hand, what does it mean I would miss out on? Sitting here in this room? Not going anywhere but MD appointments? financial struggles? Things in the house breaking down?
I don't know. It is beyond my powers of "omniscience" (since, obviously, God does not share that with me). I will simply have to pray about it; that God would have his way in what concerns me...and to trust and have peace in however he works, knowing that is what is best for me. Please pray for me, friends, that I would find peace in allowing God to have his way, whatever that looks like. I will keep you updated on this process and in whatever way it works out.
I have had other things on my mind, frankly. This week I had two appointments relevant to my future abode. One was for public funding for me to move into a senior apartment. And the other was an interview/tour for admission to an assisted living center two towns away from here, in NY.
The latter facility is brand new, just opening this week or next week. The rooms are smallish and shared with a roommate. While I would rather not share a room, it needn't be horrible. I had two different roommates in the rehab/nursing home I was in following my ankle surgery. That place was not nearly as nice or as new or smelling so good, and the AC didn't work in my room in two of the hottest months in recent memory....and yet, still, it was not a terrible experience. I made friends with the therapists and nurses and aides and worked hard in PT. I read book after book on my Kindle. That place didn't even have Wifi--and yet I survived.
This place, by contrast, is much nicer and offers a lot more. But for some reason, I do not feel confident that I will be accepted there. I think my mental illness may stand in the way--although that would be discrimination that they said they do not practice. I don't know. It will depend on the funding working out---and whether or not I am accepted. My dad seems to not approve of it, feeling that the rooms are too small and it would be prison-like. I don''t know what to think.
My initial feeling was that I really wanted to go there....to get away from this house...this tiny stifling room that is such a mess....from a difficult marriage. Away from a house that I cannot manage or care for due to physical limitations. Now I have mixed feelings. And I think that that is a good thing...because if I don't get in, I will not be heartbroken and will, instead, see it as the working out of God's will. The other thing is that it would mean being "institutionalized" for the next maybe 20 or more years. That's a LONG time! But on the other hand, what does it mean I would miss out on? Sitting here in this room? Not going anywhere but MD appointments? financial struggles? Things in the house breaking down?
I don't know. It is beyond my powers of "omniscience" (since, obviously, God does not share that with me). I will simply have to pray about it; that God would have his way in what concerns me...and to trust and have peace in however he works, knowing that is what is best for me. Please pray for me, friends, that I would find peace in allowing God to have his way, whatever that looks like. I will keep you updated on this process and in whatever way it works out.
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