Usually I look on my illnesses and pain with equanimity--I do not cry or curse God. I do not question His dealings with me. But in the past week I have been in such extreme, unrelenting pain in my ankles and feet and shoulders that I burst out in an email to my pastor, "I know God can heal me....but WHY DOESN'T HE???" This is as close as I have come to questioning His wisdom and His love for me. "Lord, if you love someone, you are not supposed to put them on the rack of torture and pain. You are not supposed to grind them to dust with your thumb!"
And the next day, in my email, came a devotion by Rev John Piper that said this:
I posted that link on my Facebook page and a friend made a comment about how western modern civilizations do not know about the need for Lament. In other cultures they have perfected it as an art. The book of Job in Scripture is one long lament. And God understood and accepted and honored Job's lament. His 'friends' however were appalled by Job's outbursts of pain and sorrow. They accused him of not having enough faith or of some covert sin for which God was apparently justified in punishing. His friends would have been right at home, sadly, in some of our churches.
"Keep on smiling" "buck up, you can handle this!" "Thank God for the sunshine!"
Well, this past week, I was joining Job in cursing the day of my birth. And I have to say that I got some small pleasure out of that. I was tired of bravery. I had run out of courage. My supply of endurance had dwindled to nothing. I was tired. I was in pain. I wanted it all to end, and if that meant the end of my life as well---well that was fine with me.
When I read my friend's mini treatise on lament, my soul smiled and approved of her words. I think that lament is the pressure valve on our tires when the pressure is too great to be borne. Let it fly...let the wind take away your sorrow and anguish...But there is a word of caution. Job's wife advised him to "curse God and die" and in the end of the book it says "And in all this, Job did not sin by cursing God." Yes, we can decompress. But guard your lips...let no curse be aimed at God....that is a sin that will not be overlooked.
You can cry and yell if you need to...but it is essential that we recognize that God has the right to entrust us with whatever He deems necessary. God asks Job out of the whirlwind :"Who questions me? I will question you instead..." and goes on to list many, many ways in which God is more knowledgeable that we are in the forms of questions for which Job had no reply except to say "Oops. my lips have betrayed me. I spoke too much! I will cover my mouth with my hand." (my paraphrase)
You see, yours and my suffering seems unjust. It seems like it is unmerited. It seems pointless...just cruel. But when we encounter God as He is...when we consider His vast wisdom and also His LOVINGKINDNESS toward His Creation, we must concede....He is completely justified and able to give us whatever He deems necessary for us to deal with...and He has promised not to leave us alone in our pain. "He will never leave us or forsake us!"(Heb. 13:5). He knows what He is doing. Trust Him. You don't have to understand. You don't have to agree. You don't have to want any part of it....but know, beloved, He is accomplishing something in you that is of value and beauty. Rocks must be smashed and fractured with the pick axe in order to unearth the diamonds there.
It takes some violence, some pain (for the rocks :) ) in order to uncover things that are of inestimable value.
Meanwhile, feel free to unload your questions, your pain and your sorrow....sob on His shoulder. He can take it. And He will bring relief when He deems it is essential. At just the right time.
(Here is the link if you want to read the entire devotion by Rev Piper. http://links.biblegateway.mkt4731.com/servlet/MailView?ms=NTgyNDQzNTAS1&r=ODA4NzMzMjM1ODcS1&j=MTU2MjAwOTMyNAS2&mt=1&rt=0&fbclid=IwAR0Tv3I5WFA1Jjlo-JXHaZbUsOQl1VBvdvJSr0dHcgUzD9iRCeu2bq4U9rI )
And the next day, in my email, came a devotion by Rev John Piper that said this:
"Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (Job 6:26)
"In grief and pain and despair, people often say things they otherwise would not say...
"They say, “Where is God?” Or: “There is no use to go on.” Or: “Nothing makes any sense.” Or: “There’s no hope for me.” Or: “If God were good, this couldn’t have happened.”
What shall we do with these words?
Job says that we do not need to reprove them. These words are wind,"
I posted that link on my Facebook page and a friend made a comment about how western modern civilizations do not know about the need for Lament. In other cultures they have perfected it as an art. The book of Job in Scripture is one long lament. And God understood and accepted and honored Job's lament. His 'friends' however were appalled by Job's outbursts of pain and sorrow. They accused him of not having enough faith or of some covert sin for which God was apparently justified in punishing. His friends would have been right at home, sadly, in some of our churches.
"Keep on smiling" "buck up, you can handle this!" "Thank God for the sunshine!"
Well, this past week, I was joining Job in cursing the day of my birth. And I have to say that I got some small pleasure out of that. I was tired of bravery. I had run out of courage. My supply of endurance had dwindled to nothing. I was tired. I was in pain. I wanted it all to end, and if that meant the end of my life as well---well that was fine with me.
When I read my friend's mini treatise on lament, my soul smiled and approved of her words. I think that lament is the pressure valve on our tires when the pressure is too great to be borne. Let it fly...let the wind take away your sorrow and anguish...But there is a word of caution. Job's wife advised him to "curse God and die" and in the end of the book it says "And in all this, Job did not sin by cursing God." Yes, we can decompress. But guard your lips...let no curse be aimed at God....that is a sin that will not be overlooked.
You can cry and yell if you need to...but it is essential that we recognize that God has the right to entrust us with whatever He deems necessary. God asks Job out of the whirlwind :"Who questions me? I will question you instead..." and goes on to list many, many ways in which God is more knowledgeable that we are in the forms of questions for which Job had no reply except to say "Oops. my lips have betrayed me. I spoke too much! I will cover my mouth with my hand." (my paraphrase)
You see, yours and my suffering seems unjust. It seems like it is unmerited. It seems pointless...just cruel. But when we encounter God as He is...when we consider His vast wisdom and also His LOVINGKINDNESS toward His Creation, we must concede....He is completely justified and able to give us whatever He deems necessary for us to deal with...and He has promised not to leave us alone in our pain. "He will never leave us or forsake us!"(Heb. 13:5). He knows what He is doing. Trust Him. You don't have to understand. You don't have to agree. You don't have to want any part of it....but know, beloved, He is accomplishing something in you that is of value and beauty. Rocks must be smashed and fractured with the pick axe in order to unearth the diamonds there.
It takes some violence, some pain (for the rocks :) ) in order to uncover things that are of inestimable value.
Meanwhile, feel free to unload your questions, your pain and your sorrow....sob on His shoulder. He can take it. And He will bring relief when He deems it is essential. At just the right time.
(Here is the link if you want to read the entire devotion by Rev Piper. http://links.biblegateway.mkt4731.com/servlet/MailView?ms=NTgyNDQzNTAS1&r=ODA4NzMzMjM1ODcS1&j=MTU2MjAwOTMyNAS2&mt=1&rt=0&fbclid=IwAR0Tv3I5WFA1Jjlo-JXHaZbUsOQl1VBvdvJSr0dHcgUzD9iRCeu2bq4U9rI )
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