If you read yesterday's post you will know that I've been in the midst of a massive flare of autoimmune diseases and have been dealing with severe pain and fatigue for the past week or two. Yesterday (my first day on steroids) I felt markedly better than I had been, mostly because of a lessening of the pain. However, as my day went on and I still was dealing with crippling fatigue, a little bit of reality sunk in and I realized I'm "not there yet". Last night, after really doing very little all day, I slept in exhaustion for 14 hours! I needed that rest--however shortly after waking this morning and making a trip to the kitchen and returning to my recliner, I was shaking from the effort and realizing once more how very little energy I have.
I know that I am dehydrated. And I know that that is probably my greatest health risk at the moment...that, and the danger of falling. My biggest (and most difficult) goal for today is to get in the shower and into clean clothes. I do have a tub bench and a plastic carrying bin for my shower and hair washing supplies. so really it is very little effort I need to expend. But even walking to the bathroom is hard. Then comes the effort of getting undressed and into the shower and washing and most of all, there is the effort of getting out safely and drying off.
Years ago I had a very bad case of steroid myopathy which was when my muscles were severely damaged from IV steroids. I spent 3 months in inpatient rehab, learning how to manage life from a wheelchair and working hard to strengthen the muscles that remained. I recall then also, this severe, crippling fatigue that made me need a nap after the effort of getting dressed. This fatigue feels similar to that fatigue, except that I'm not wheelchair bound right now.
In this case, I don't know what the approach should be....should I wait a couple more days and see if my strength returns? Or should I plow through and force myself to do things that feel impossible? I really don't know. For you veterans of RA or PsA or Lupus--what have you found that has worked for you after bad flares? How did you come through it? How did you recover?
Now it's lunch time. I did not have breakfast...or dinner last night. Or lunch or breakfast yesterday as well. Here and there in the past week, I've had a roll or a piece of cheese. a couple of spoonfuls of cottage cheese. Sometimes something will sound appealing but the effort of getting them just seems to be too great....so meh....I can do without them. I have weight to lose so I'm not too concerned about that. I just wish I knew how much to push myself. I feel that if I do push, I will fall...and that would be a disaster.
Anyway that's where I am today. Better. But still having a way to go.
And the Lord? He is here. In today's devotion from Joni Eareckson Tada was a verse from Job:
Jesus will be my advocate. And God will move on my behalf
I know that I am dehydrated. And I know that that is probably my greatest health risk at the moment...that, and the danger of falling. My biggest (and most difficult) goal for today is to get in the shower and into clean clothes. I do have a tub bench and a plastic carrying bin for my shower and hair washing supplies. so really it is very little effort I need to expend. But even walking to the bathroom is hard. Then comes the effort of getting undressed and into the shower and washing and most of all, there is the effort of getting out safely and drying off.
Years ago I had a very bad case of steroid myopathy which was when my muscles were severely damaged from IV steroids. I spent 3 months in inpatient rehab, learning how to manage life from a wheelchair and working hard to strengthen the muscles that remained. I recall then also, this severe, crippling fatigue that made me need a nap after the effort of getting dressed. This fatigue feels similar to that fatigue, except that I'm not wheelchair bound right now.
In this case, I don't know what the approach should be....should I wait a couple more days and see if my strength returns? Or should I plow through and force myself to do things that feel impossible? I really don't know. For you veterans of RA or PsA or Lupus--what have you found that has worked for you after bad flares? How did you come through it? How did you recover?
Now it's lunch time. I did not have breakfast...or dinner last night. Or lunch or breakfast yesterday as well. Here and there in the past week, I've had a roll or a piece of cheese. a couple of spoonfuls of cottage cheese. Sometimes something will sound appealing but the effort of getting them just seems to be too great....so meh....I can do without them. I have weight to lose so I'm not too concerned about that. I just wish I knew how much to push myself. I feel that if I do push, I will fall...and that would be a disaster.
Anyway that's where I am today. Better. But still having a way to go.
And the Lord? He is here. In today's devotion from Joni Eareckson Tada was a verse from Job:
Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a (wo)man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend.When do you need an advocate? When someone has done you wrong. When you are in a helpless situation and suffering. .Job felt he needed an advocate between him and God. I do not know that it is God who is behind my suffering. But I do need an advocate.
Job 16:19-21
Jesus will be my advocate. And God will move on my behalf
No comments:
Post a Comment