Please forgive me for the long silence. Last Tuesday I was admitted to the hospital for an asthma exacerbation. I was in very bad shape...and it's been a long week. I'm sounding better now but still have a tight raw cough and sporadic periods of wheezing.
My goal was to be released tomorrow. The doctor decided to keep me on IV steroids for another day and to re-evaluate me tomorrow to see whether or not he could put me on oral meds and send me home. I had my plan all worked out...even did my grocery shopping order at Walmart.com for a pickup tomorrow....and scheduled my housekeeping friend to come on Thursday. And arranged for my dad to pick me up tomorrow.
But now I'm seeing all the flies in my ointment. MY plan was to be checked out by 11:00--when the truth is that the doctor won't likely have seen me by then or had adequate time to switch me to PO meds, let alone write discharge instructions. I'm seeing my house of cards starting to tumble. I'm thinking it is looking more like a Thursday discharge..after I've been on oral meds for 24 hours.
God knows my body. He knows I'm not where I want or need to be in order to pull off my plans. I just went for a short walk with a PT...and was distressed to find that 20' down the hall I started to get dizzy....and even with resting for ten minutes ...my SAT % was still only 91%. It is a great concern to me to be this limited in respiratory status. It is bad enough to have weakness and pain and joint deformity. from RD. but to also not be able to breathe is not acceptable. whoops. Did I just tell God that His ways are not acceptable? Scratch that Lord.. I can't see the way ahead of me. You go before me. ...Keep me close pressed to your steps and the comforting guidance of your hand. Show me the way...even if it is only the distance to my next breath.
My daughter and her boyfriend both were down for the count with the flu. God was gracious and brought them out of it....despite the lack of focus in my prayers. I prayed with my heart. With my love. And God heard from Heaven and healed them. Now maybe he will heal me too. Or maybe I need to be curbed like that bit and bridled horse or maybe my Lord just likes me to be kept close --just because he loves me. Maybe he knows my tendency to run wild steered by self-will. (MAYBE???)... maybe he has to clip my wings....Whatever the cause, God is the Author of my days. And I can trust that all his plans for me are for my good and for the purpose of helping me to know him better and better.
My goal was to be released tomorrow. The doctor decided to keep me on IV steroids for another day and to re-evaluate me tomorrow to see whether or not he could put me on oral meds and send me home. I had my plan all worked out...even did my grocery shopping order at Walmart.com for a pickup tomorrow....and scheduled my housekeeping friend to come on Thursday. And arranged for my dad to pick me up tomorrow.
But now I'm seeing all the flies in my ointment. MY plan was to be checked out by 11:00--when the truth is that the doctor won't likely have seen me by then or had adequate time to switch me to PO meds, let alone write discharge instructions. I'm seeing my house of cards starting to tumble. I'm thinking it is looking more like a Thursday discharge..after I've been on oral meds for 24 hours.
God knows my body. He knows I'm not where I want or need to be in order to pull off my plans. I just went for a short walk with a PT...and was distressed to find that 20' down the hall I started to get dizzy....and even with resting for ten minutes ...my SAT % was still only 91%. It is a great concern to me to be this limited in respiratory status. It is bad enough to have weakness and pain and joint deformity. from RD. but to also not be able to breathe is not acceptable. whoops. Did I just tell God that His ways are not acceptable? Scratch that Lord.. I can't see the way ahead of me. You go before me. ...Keep me close pressed to your steps and the comforting guidance of your hand. Show me the way...even if it is only the distance to my next breath.
My daughter and her boyfriend both were down for the count with the flu. God was gracious and brought them out of it....despite the lack of focus in my prayers. I prayed with my heart. With my love. And God heard from Heaven and healed them. Now maybe he will heal me too. Or maybe I need to be curbed like that bit and bridled horse or maybe my Lord just likes me to be kept close --just because he loves me. Maybe he knows my tendency to run wild steered by self-will. (MAYBE???)... maybe he has to clip my wings....Whatever the cause, God is the Author of my days. And I can trust that all his plans for me are for my good and for the purpose of helping me to know him better and better.
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