A New/Old way to Pray

This post is going to be hard to write for a plethora of reasons. Let me start off by giving you a list of facts that all interplay

• yesterday we got two feet of snow and were buried in our house
• I had anxieties prior to the storm about mainly, losing electricity.  We bought bottled water and filled the bathtub (to have toilet flushing water)
• God gave me peace -even about our roof collapsing under the weight.
• Our plow guys got there once yesterday after about 10" had fallen and they did not come again yesterday.
• my husband was determined to get to work, feeling his job was in jeopardy.
• He was livid at 3;00 AM that he could not get out of the driveway.
• He wait all day until around  1:00 when they came and got us going again.

Now the TRUE story is infrastructure behind the scenes.

Lately I have been resurrecting my prayer life and my study time (this I call Penuel meaning "the face of God" because it is in these times when I most clearly see his face as he reveals it to me.)

God is so good because now I now am strong enough to kneel in front of my recliner covering my face with my hands and it is there I pray. I can only remain on my knees for a short time but this morning I kept going back there. My prayers have been completely transformed in a good way. Now I do not burst into Abba's throne room with a list of prayer requests a foot long.  No. I quiet my heart before him, enjoying being with him and being loved by him. And sometimes like this morning and like yesterday morning when I'm feeling anything but peace, that is an effort--one that I have to keep reinforcing.  I ask to "hear from heaven" and ironically God promised to hear US from heaven if we humble ourselves, seek his face and pray!! Did you see that? SEEK HIS FACE...Penuel!...And humble ourselves...nothing like being on your knees or flat out on the floor prone to help yourself  to realize your nothingness next to an Almighty God. But humility is more than a physical position.  It is a position of the heart.
For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.'"    

Luke 18:14

These days when I pray I ask to hear God's voice.  I ask him how to approach tough situations. I ask him to reveal the status of my heart...is it an anxious heart?  Is it fearful??  Is it untrusting?

This morning I realized my immense neediness.  The depth of need was as high as the snow bank at the end of my driveway.  And I began to make petitions.  Not so much that the drive would get cleared but that my husband could be at peace about it....that his anger would melt like the snow in the sun.  That he would SEE plainly, what God has been up to. 

God encouraged me to tell him all about it. About everything on my heart and I felt like a little kid on Abba's lap...but I felt ashamed of my neediness. God brought 1Pet.5:7 to mind: Cast all your cares upon him for he cares for you.  Yes. ALL. YOUR. CARES. 

I wrote this in Facebook today :

1. Romans 11:33 ` (NASB)
   Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments... and unfathomable His ways!
2. We do not have to know why God does what he does or what is his reasoning and timing. We just have to trust that it is perfect....and that he does what he does out of love for us, his little children, and compassion for all our neediness.
3. O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help. Ps. 86:5 NLT

God tells us, "Here just hand over your angst and your pain and I will trade it for peace and joy.

I know this is all elementary but it is so exciting to get a word from God and then to see that word played  out in reality.  DH got to work but said local roads in our corner of PA were horrible and it he'd gone any earlier, he would not have made it.      hah!! you SEE? Once again God went into overtime to keep him safe. And his fears about losing his job were unfounded.  His mood was elated compared to this morning's blowout. God answered every one of my prayers.

He has been at work in my life, giving me understandings that always untie the knots in my mind and stomach and give me a different perspective than what I thought I needed. But his ways are the most effective and powerful.