Monday, March 10, 2014

Joining? or Avoiding?

Yesterday evening,I exchanged words on a site for people with PsA.  The person was unkind and arrogant with me and I basically told him I didn't like to be treated like that and that I would not be returning.

Who is it that God is calling me to be? Not bitter, that's for sure. He is calling me to love these people. I don't want to. No, I do not.
This requires prayer.
"Lord Jesus, you see my heart.  My green tinted heart and eyes. You see that these people have pricked my self- righteous bubble and I find it to be filled with green slime. Lord clean me up.  I cannot do it myself. Lord, these people hurt my feelings.  They also make me jealous....of their perfect spouses, children and lives. And why is it that every one of them has a "ministry" a book to promote, or is a speaker? Am I the only one whose husband hates  her....whose child is not a believer,  who has a mental illness, who is physically disabled?  Are these things truly reflective of my spiritual state (failure)? Lord, I need some answers here."

God is whispering to my heart.
"I made you for Myself. 
I made you to be who you are: unique.  There are those who will see My hand in your life and my face reflected on yours.  There are those who are insincere and judgmental.  It is up to Me to deal with them.  Hide your heart in Mine and you will not be wounded. These people like you, are all trying to find their way to Me.  Share with them. Help them in their journey. You are not responsible for their failures or sins.  Just keep your own heart clean...keep it habitable for Me. And your "weaknesses" ?  The mental and physical issues? Just take from them the lessons I've taught you.  GO and be an encourager ...you don't have to share your story right away...I will let you know what you should speak and when.

"So, for now, go and join them.  Join them so that you can learn more of Me. And so that you can let your heart shine like the jewel it is.Do not feel unworthy or less than they are.  Just be yourself, "Cynthia: the Moon....reflector of light."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
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