Tonight I was listening to a podcast from the Village Church which happens to be Chandler's church in Dallas....and I got curious enough to want to fill in the blanks about what had happened to him. So Google to the rescue. I came across an article in Relevant Magazine (http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/features/24107-the-tested-faith-of-matt-chandler ) which had a quote in it that hit me between the eyes. As I read of Matt's brain tumor (malignant) and surgery and his ongoing chemotherapy, there was a statement he made which sounded quite like some statements I've made in the past,....which maybe I need to be reminded of now, in these days of unrelenting pain. Here it is:
“There’s this part of me that’s so grateful that the Lord counted me worthy for this.”
When I heard this statement two verses pulled at my consciousness. Here they are:
For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. Philippians 1:29There's an ad that is frequently on my Facebook page that says this : "RA is a tough disease...and it takes tough people to suffer with it,"
The apostles left the high council rejoicing that God had counted them worthy to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus. Acts 5:41
What is all this saying? God has given me a long and hard row to hoe....And it is taking the very last drop of endurance and strength that I have to survive it...let alone to glorify Him in it. The Bible says "A bruised reed he will not break " or "a smouldering wick he will not snuff out,"...There were years...many of them when I was bruised and smouldering...They weren't easy years...Yet God did not cotton pad my path....Through those years I think God fired my clay in the kiln of suffering so that in these days...when the suffering is pouring heavy and wet like a flood around me...my container is solid and finished to be able to hold this adversity like a cup. And from this cup, He invites me to "Drink, this is my blood poured out for you." As I drink the cup of His affliction, it becomes my own....part of my own flesh and blood. His torment has melded with mine and I am uniquely privileged to share it. I am honored that He considers me strong enough to continue to praise Him and not to disgrace Him by the way that I handle my pain.
And so, Cynthia, do not complain. Do not rail at God for giving you this burden. There is more at stake here than you know, and you have been called to play a role in God's unfolding drama. So play it with: Grace. Honor. Thanksgiving. Joy.
I will admit and confess that I am not always Christlike in how I endure pain. And even today you heard me tell Him, :"OK cut it out already. That is enough."
I am not worthy to unloose His sandals....but He has counted me worthy to share His cup. Sometimes I wonder why. I mean, I do not have a huge ministry like Joni E. Tada. I am not the spokeswoman for some disease or cause. I have not raised money for a cure. I haven't spoken to groups of people. All I do is suffer, write this blog and inhabit this house. Is that all He is calling me to do? Is He calling me to a deeper holiness to make a spectacle of hell? If so, I've probably failed that assignment big time. I do not know His reasons. All I know is : HE HAS A REASON.
And I am honored that he has chosen me to be a player in this act, this scene...He has chosen me
Just as the crocus endures frozen ground and frosty nights...it blooms and it brings us--straight from the hand of God, a message of Hope. Spring is just around the corner.---So I endure my pain to bring you all HOPE...our redemption is drawing nearer. This pain-filled world will be only a dim memory soon.
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