Down

I got home from the hospital the day before yesterday.  Yesterday the home nurse came by and my medicines and supplies were delivered for me to be able to give my self antibiotics via  a line in my arm that delivers the medications to my heart.

I feel beat.  Down.  I feel like the guy lying on the mat after 10 rounds of having the snot pounded out of him...

I cry out to God; yes, I shout.
    Oh, that God would listen to me!
² When I was in deep trouble,
    I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
    but my soul was not comforted.
³ I think of God, and I moan,
    overwhelmed with longing for his help.

⁴ You don’t let me sleep.
    I am too distressed even to pray!
⁵ I think of the good old days,
    long since ended,
⁶ when my nights were filled with joyful songs.
    I search my soul and ponder the difference now.
⁷ Has the Lord rejected me forever?
    Will he never again be kind to me?
⁸ Is his unfailing love gone forever?
    Have his promises permanently failed?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be gracious?
    Has he slammed the door on his compassion? 

¹⁰ And I said, “This is my fate;
    the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
¹¹ But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
    I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
¹² They are constantly in my thoughts.
    I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.

¹³ O God, your ways are holy.
    Is there any god as mighty as you?
¹⁴ You are the God of great wonders!

Psalm 77, NLT