I give up. I'm crying "UNCLE!!"
For the past week I've struggled with cervical pain (neck area of spine) that is progressively worse and now defies description.
I'm taking dosages of oxycontin that are way too high and too frequent, and they are barely touching the pain which shoots down all the way to my fingertips.
My husband told me last night that I should just go to the ER and be admitted so that they can control my pain until something definitive can be done. I decided then to try and tough it out...that was 12 hours of hell ago. My tune has changed now. As soon as it gets light and I can get a ride, that is what I am doing. My hatred of pain has overcome my hatred of hospitals. This kind of pain, anyway. This kind of pain is a tidal wave which is SO much bigger than I am. NORMAL hellish pain, I can deal with; I am used to. But this is the kind of pain you might feel if you were being run over by a car...several times. It is beyond toleration.
Once more, due to lack of laptop; I will be out of touch...
Please keep me in prayer.
Two years ago, I went to a spine surgeon, driven by serious pain; and he told me that there was nothing they could do. My spine is in such bad shape on every single level, that surgery would be ineffective. But I think (hope) this is different. This is ACUTE, if-you-don't-help-me-I-will-do-something-drastic pain. I hope they will look at it differently.
The recent hip replacement and infection will probably complicate this whole process. I know that doing surgery on me right now is risky...I am praying that the severity of the need will overcome their hesitation. I would rather end up in heaven than go on like this (There's an OBVIOUS statement!).
Got to go now...
Peace.
1 comment:
I decided, based on the advice of doctors and friends, to hang tough until my appointment with the surgeon on Thursday. ER docs can too quickly think someone is just drug seeking; or else hand out a pill which is even weaker than what I'm already taking...and worst of all, I would have sat in the car and waiting room all of that time for nothing. (no small consideration when one is in pain)...So I'm still here for now, praying for endurance.
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