on tea and toast

Today begins my third day at home...I just completed my third night with only moments of snatched sleep. I'll be honest with you: I'm miserable! My hip is not so much the bugger here but I suspect the problem is the IV antibiotic I'm taking. I'm having horrific nausea and cold sweats and some muscle spasms (which may be a result of the surgery itself.) This is also my fourth day of almost no food: only a few crackers, tea...last night managed a few bites of the buttered pasta my daughter made. Even water makes me want to hurl. This gives me a lot more sympathy for what chemo patients go through.

I have to stay on the medicine for another four weeks before going on an oral antibiotic for the remaining two months in order to get rid of this infection. I started taking Zofran yesterday for the nausea which alleviates a bit of the misery...but it still can't convince me to put anything into my mouth!

I keep thinking as I sit and shuffle on my cane from chair to recliner to bed, to chair to recliner to bed...that this is SUCH a huge waste of time. I could be DOING something with this time...not just struggling to hang on and get through a day. But I have to tell you the truth: there's not anything much I can do. I think I just need to accept that these weeks are going to be a "loss" in terms of production and maybe focus more on being quiet before God and listening for his voice.

I can also pray for several of my missionary friends who are in the midst of great struggles right now; either with health issues or political turmoil and danger in the countries where they are serving. God will just have to listen to my disjointed and sometimes incoherent prayers and make sense of them somehow....and maybe even grant them some eternal significance. I will be happy...and content...with that.

I thank God for my mp3 player which got me through many pain-filled and hard times in the hospital and the long nights now; playing songs that focus my thoughts on God and on the time when this suffering will be forever gone. It's true that my laptop is still on the "out of action" list...after I broke the LCD screen by stepping on it (well..more like FALLING on it!)...and I am missing it desperately. I can only sit at the PC for a few minutes at a time so am not as in touch with friends as I'd like to be. I think maybe God wanted some of the attention I was giving the internet...so there it lies.

I've got to draw this to a close...my back has sat for as long as it can. Please keep me in prayer...and let me know of your prayer needs...Lord knows: I've got the time.