Chris Tomlin O Come all Ye Faithful

Monday, March 11, 2013

A Place for Me

It's 9:45. Normally I would have been asleep long ago.  But I'm hurting....in every conceivable way.  My body is dealing with pain that varies from a dull ache to sharp, shooting pains. Back, hands, neck, shoulders...feet.  All letting me know they are here and are NOT happy.

And my spirit is in pain too.  I won't go into details but my life is upside down...and there's no one but the Lord to hear me cry out in my mind. No one but the Lord to give a rip. I'm sad. Heartbreakingly, achingly sad.  A long segment of my life is at a close and the unknown future teases me with fear and uncertainty as to the location and means of my survival.

I will find a way.  I will find a means.  I will find a place. I will find energy for all of this somewhere and somehow. God will bring good from it for me.  I can picture that once the initial rending occurs, I will find relief and freedom.  I just need to survive the upheaval.  I just need to get through the changes and need to find myself, singular, apart from selves, plural.

It is not impossible.
It just feels like it is.
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