I'm still plugging away in the effort to reclaim my body from the devastation rendered by steroids---I still am working on losing the weight I gained a year ago in the hospital for asthma, being pumped full of those cursed drugs to which I owe my life. Yesterday the scale held good news for me...but I still have a long way to go. My immediate goal is to lose 20 lbs. So far (as of yesterday AM) I have lost 5.
Wonderfully, God has provided help in my journey by putting it on the heart of a friend, to share with me her wisdom. In our first conversation alone, I came away with a lot to think about. One thing is mindfulness and how that comes to play in my life as a Christian. Mindfulness is not only an Eastern teaching. It is vital as a believer, to have a constant awareness of 1) God's presence with me. 2) conversation with the Emmanuel (God with us)...hearing him and responding. 3) Having a good, hard look at my behavior and thoughts....confessing when I wander into errant behavior or ungodly thoughts. It's a lot to keep going at once. And I think those 3 areas rise to the surface of consciousness and fall into the background ...not shut off...just "sleeping" like my computer does, responding instantly to a touch and springing to usefulness when needed. A lot of sin can take place when the mind is not in gear....like picking up a handful of cookies (who's counting?) and stuffing them into my mouth just because they looked good...NOT thinking of my weight loss goals or the fact that my pants are too tight.
Not only do I need to be wary of the act of putting food in my mouth...I also need to understand that compulsion and what fuels it, so that -hopefully- the next time a situation arises, not only to be aware of the temptation and to see it as such, but to stop the behavior (my hands unwrapping the ice cream sandwich) before the food ends up in my mouth. Now, there is a danger-- and maybe you have experienced this in moments of temptation-- of being aware of the temptation but suddenly all the factors that motivate my desire to control my eating seem empty, powerless and devoid of the ability to motivate. Like "who cares that my pants are tight, I want this ice cream/cookie, etc." Somehow I need to find a way to amp up the power of my desire to lose weight and the reasons I am engaged in this struggle in the first place. I want to endue them with POWER. And really the best, most perfect and strongest source of power is the Word of God and God Himself. And the more I am filled with his Spirit and his words...the more FIGHT I will have in me to conquer these sinful impulses.
Why is it sinful to overeat or to succumb to temptation? Because anything that takes the place of God in my life, is an idol and must be ousted and vitiated (rendered powerless). Any time I choose to behave in ways other than how I know God wants me to behave -- it is sin. Now eating is not sinful....it is a gift from God, in the desire to eat, and the availability of food, and my body's ability to put the food to good use to give me strength and healing. It is when we eat when our bodies are not needing food --when we are already satiated (ordering that luscious dessert after eating a filling meal), or when we choose to eat things that are NOT helpful to our body (junk food-aptly named). And in moments when confronted by the temptation to indulge and God is telling us, "walk away--to not touch! and we basically give God the finger and do what our tastebuds are telling us to do regardless of God's directive ----THIS is when eating becomes sinful. An idol. A self destructive behavior.
I do think that the greater the degree of intimacy I have with God; the more I know His Word; the more empowered I am by his Spirit--the greater will be my ability to just say "no" when my eyes or mind see something that looks like it would taste good. Daily I need to ask God to fill me with his Spirit and to study his Word, the Bible, committing to memory passages that will help me in my struggle with temptation. (see James chapter 1:12-17 for example).
So much is involved in weight loss--it is really the exemplification in miniature of the battles we face as Believers...fighting temptation and physical gratification and rendering to God first place in headship over our lives. My coach says "Our minds must change before our body can change and not the body must change and then our mind will change." I must first think about food and myself and temptation and the need to forgive myself when I trip up, in the manner in which God sees them and sees me....then will I have the power to change my behavior. It is a mental and spiritual battle most importantly.
Sorry for the focus on weight loss--especially if that is not a relevant struggle for you....but I think these thoughts really apply to any temptation. I hope something I've said is helpful to you today.
God bless your day and strengthen you for any battle you face.
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