I know that what follows sounds like a giant pity party I'm throwing. I'm speaking and writing out of frustration. I am very grateful to the people who help me as much as they can....but sometimes I need more help than I get. It's an imperfect situation without an obvious or easy solution. The only reason I'm writing about it is two fold: catharsis and to further fill you in on what is a fact of life for the ill and disabled and elderly. So please take it in the manner in which it is intended.
I no longer am able to drive. I haven't driven in a number of years. I also live on a mountain in the middle of a forest. And it takes 15 minutes to get to any kind of restaurant or store....but these are small places that are high priced and often don't have what you need. To get to any kind of "real" store (Walmart and Lowes) takes more than a half hour. And to get to the hospital where my husband works and where our insurance insists we go when we need even a blood test....takes an hour on a highway. And that means that for all of my doctor visits, it takes between an hour and an hour and a half to get there.
I belong to a small church and the number of people who are available to drive is very low. Usually they are elderly, not being tied to job or family but they do not drive me to my doctors or to the hospital as they are not comfortable on a highway. But I thank them for the blessing they have been to me by doing what they can.
But thank the Lord, there is a bus company which is solely for the elderly and disabled...so for $12, I can get to some places where I need to go. However they only go to certain places , on certain days, at certain times....Not only that but they take sometimes 5 people all in one vehicle going to different locations...and it is guaranteed to take the entire day for my one 10 minute appointment. And for me that means hours of bad pain and no place to get relief from it by laying down or reclining.
It also means that there are many times I need extra coverage and I thank God for the fact that my 80 year old dad is still driving and he can take me to appointments....sometimes. I live 45 minutes from him and then an hour to and back and then his trek home again means that he is driving for 4 hours.
Not driving also means that I am a prisoner in my house---for reasons I won't explain.
No longer having the ability to hop in my car and drive away to get some "me" time, will never happen again. I cannot escape my house no matter what is going on here.
Not driving therefore means that I hear the word "NO" an awful lot. And that "no" is on top of the "no way's" and "do I haveta's?" my own physical limitations speak to me.
This was a lot harder for me to accept at first than it is now. I don't know if I've become more adjusted and patient, or if I've just given up. And part of the reason it is easier to tolerate is because it means that I don't have to walk down the six steps and through the driveway so it's kind of a relief to stay home. . I think that the bigger problem is that people have too much on their plates for them to deal with their own family's needs let alone mine. I understand that ...I do.
A driverless car just might be worth the $100,000 I'm sure they cost.
I no longer am able to drive. I haven't driven in a number of years. I also live on a mountain in the middle of a forest. And it takes 15 minutes to get to any kind of restaurant or store....but these are small places that are high priced and often don't have what you need. To get to any kind of "real" store (Walmart and Lowes) takes more than a half hour. And to get to the hospital where my husband works and where our insurance insists we go when we need even a blood test....takes an hour on a highway. And that means that for all of my doctor visits, it takes between an hour and an hour and a half to get there.
I belong to a small church and the number of people who are available to drive is very low. Usually they are elderly, not being tied to job or family but they do not drive me to my doctors or to the hospital as they are not comfortable on a highway. But I thank them for the blessing they have been to me by doing what they can.
But thank the Lord, there is a bus company which is solely for the elderly and disabled...so for $12, I can get to some places where I need to go. However they only go to certain places , on certain days, at certain times....Not only that but they take sometimes 5 people all in one vehicle going to different locations...and it is guaranteed to take the entire day for my one 10 minute appointment. And for me that means hours of bad pain and no place to get relief from it by laying down or reclining.
It also means that there are many times I need extra coverage and I thank God for the fact that my 80 year old dad is still driving and he can take me to appointments....sometimes. I live 45 minutes from him and then an hour to and back and then his trek home again means that he is driving for 4 hours.
Not driving also means that I am a prisoner in my house---for reasons I won't explain.
No longer having the ability to hop in my car and drive away to get some "me" time, will never happen again. I cannot escape my house no matter what is going on here.
Not driving therefore means that I hear the word "NO" an awful lot. And that "no" is on top of the "no way's" and "do I haveta's?" my own physical limitations speak to me.
This was a lot harder for me to accept at first than it is now. I don't know if I've become more adjusted and patient, or if I've just given up. And part of the reason it is easier to tolerate is because it means that I don't have to walk down the six steps and through the driveway so it's kind of a relief to stay home. . I think that the bigger problem is that people have too much on their plates for them to deal with their own family's needs let alone mine. I understand that ...I do.
A driverless car just might be worth the $100,000 I'm sure they cost.
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