https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=culDfUqiKDE
I know I've talked here about pain many times before...it is probably the second largest aspect of my life. (Number one is my faith)...I could list the areas on my body that need surgery but the surgeries are risky and difficult and require an immense amount of follow up care. At least two of the surgeries would only be attempted by world class physicians who are located in NYC, a two hour drive from here --and these doctors and hospitals are not on our insurance network.
Thus.
They are impossible. (don't you love the verse: "With God, nothing is impossible"...do you believe that? REALLY believe that?)
But choosing not to do them means an inestimable and indescribable amount of pain and disability.
Right now I need to be in an electric wheelchair (which I have) but my house is too small and crowded for that to be feasible. I have applied to a senior apartment where I will be able to use the wheelchair...but the fact is that with my shoulders both being shot, living alone is probably not possible, unless I can somehow qualify for an aide.
I am going this week to look into getting the orthopedic shoes that the doctor has ordered. This is my "Help me Jesus!" regarding my feet which hurt so badly, I cannot take a step without whimpering-even WITH crutches. If this doesn't make it possible to walk without exclaiming in pain, I'm sunk. And now, to top it all off, both of my shoulders are white hot with pain...especially the right one where I had a botched surgery that now needs to be dismantled and redone. An incredibly difficult and risky surgery.
I also need surgery on my spine but the problems are so severe and all encompassing that this surgery is probably not possible.(and my former spine surgeon told me that this is the case).
folks. I need prayer. I need a miracle. Or else I need to be in heaven with all of this behind me. I'm going to put a new video on top of this page...here are the lyrics:
Lyrics to Masterpiece sung by Danny Gokey
Heartbreak's a bittersweet sound
Know it well It's ringing in my ears
And I can't understand
Why I'm not fixed by now
Begged and I pleaded
Take this pain but I'm still bleeding
Heart trusts you for certain
Head says it's not working
I'm stuck here still hurting
But you tell me
You're making a masterpiece
You shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see you're making a masterpiece
Guess I'm your canvas
Beautiful black and blue
Painted in mercy's hue
I don't see past this
You see me now
Who I'll be then
There at the end
Standing there as
Your Masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
Heart trust you for certain
Head says it's not working
You're making a masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
I will be your masterpiece
Songwriters: Emily Lynn Weisband / Bernie Herms
Masterpiece lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group
God can do this. It is NOT Impossible. I don't see any way out - with my fleshly vision. But I need to look at it with God's eyes (remember that marble?)... I need to see it as a work of Grace waiting to happen. Please, if you know Jesus, please pray for me.
I know I've talked here about pain many times before...it is probably the second largest aspect of my life. (Number one is my faith)...I could list the areas on my body that need surgery but the surgeries are risky and difficult and require an immense amount of follow up care. At least two of the surgeries would only be attempted by world class physicians who are located in NYC, a two hour drive from here --and these doctors and hospitals are not on our insurance network.
Thus.
They are impossible. (don't you love the verse: "With God, nothing is impossible"...do you believe that? REALLY believe that?)
But choosing not to do them means an inestimable and indescribable amount of pain and disability.
Right now I need to be in an electric wheelchair (which I have) but my house is too small and crowded for that to be feasible. I have applied to a senior apartment where I will be able to use the wheelchair...but the fact is that with my shoulders both being shot, living alone is probably not possible, unless I can somehow qualify for an aide.
I am going this week to look into getting the orthopedic shoes that the doctor has ordered. This is my "Help me Jesus!" regarding my feet which hurt so badly, I cannot take a step without whimpering-even WITH crutches. If this doesn't make it possible to walk without exclaiming in pain, I'm sunk. And now, to top it all off, both of my shoulders are white hot with pain...especially the right one where I had a botched surgery that now needs to be dismantled and redone. An incredibly difficult and risky surgery.
I also need surgery on my spine but the problems are so severe and all encompassing that this surgery is probably not possible.(and my former spine surgeon told me that this is the case).
folks. I need prayer. I need a miracle. Or else I need to be in heaven with all of this behind me. I'm going to put a new video on top of this page...here are the lyrics:
Lyrics to Masterpiece sung by Danny Gokey
Heartbreak's a bittersweet sound
Know it well It's ringing in my ears
And I can't understand
Why I'm not fixed by now
Begged and I pleaded
Take this pain but I'm still bleeding
Heart trusts you for certain
Head says it's not working
I'm stuck here still hurting
But you tell me
You're making a masterpiece
You shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see you're making a masterpiece
Guess I'm your canvas
Beautiful black and blue
Painted in mercy's hue
I don't see past this
You see me now
Who I'll be then
There at the end
Standing there as
Your Masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
Heart trust you for certain
Head says it's not working
You're making a masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
I will be your masterpiece
Songwriters: Emily Lynn Weisband / Bernie Herms
Masterpiece lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group
God can do this. It is NOT Impossible. I don't see any way out - with my fleshly vision. But I need to look at it with God's eyes (remember that marble?)... I need to see it as a work of Grace waiting to happen. Please, if you know Jesus, please pray for me.
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