More love than Dads'

Day 8 of 12 Days of Victory

Between yesterday and today, I have failed to act in Christian love and humility.  Firstly I reviewed  a book, and I name dropped other books of Christian mysticism  that I have read, knowing that some people who might read my review would recognize those books and that I might be assumed to know more than I did.  Also—later—realizing the wrongness of my pride and that my arrogance was in plain view; I understood that I’d missed the fact that the essence of a faith walk—is love and humility.

 

And today’s failure was even worse.  My father and I went to a local eyeglass shop to get my glasses bent back into shape after sitting on them. The store was crowded and I sat there in my wheelchair waiting to be helped.  Behind me had entered a young lady with a walker and she was saying loudly “I need help getting glasses”--the clerk began to walk over to help her and I ( oh shame. I can’t even write it), I said, “Excuse me, my issue will be solved in a few minutes would  you mind helping me first?”  I heard my dad make a noise behind me…a noise of disappointment and that small sound released an avalanche of regret in me as I suddenly saw my request as it was...and my failing had a bitter taste.

(BTW, they did get another employee to also help the other lady at the same time as I was being helped. Be that as it may, my behavior was deplorable.)

That is not the end of my story…thank the sweet love of Jesus.  

I’m reading a Brennan Manning book called “The Furious Longing of God” and his goal seemed to be to enlarge the reader’s view of the loving—explosive, nurturing, tender, love of God which is against all reason, bounds or explanation.  The Father heart that would take a bullet to the chest--or a nail through the hand—for his beloved child. 

This is the love I’ve begun to experience in the past two years.  The love that declared me BLAMELESS and then revealed to me patterns of sin  from childhood through recent times…and one by one I tossed those putrid failures and outright shameful behavior under the deluge of blood flowing down the cross…and I left them there—eradicated by that tide.  

I have discovered that the high price my Abba paid to buy my forgiveness makes me worth even  more to him. The value of things are determined by their cost. But where does that leave me?  With the bitter taste of failure and regret?  It is true, I still am saddened by my sin.  But more importantly, I rejoice in the fact that the guilt from it is GONE!

However, my sense of Abba, Daddy-God’s love for me needs still more comprehension…more assurance. More delight in his presence.  More freedom, more ecstasy, more stillness, more basking, more silence, more joy….more union.

More.

Thank you, Abba

For always being and giving: MORE.

Prayer Focus: Do you have peace with God for your sins? Does guilt plague you? … Do you feel as though you are unlovable? Do you know that God loves you more than all the good daddies in the world all together love their kids? Immeasurably more than that.  Spend some time “coming clean” with God.  Do not hide your sins because they are shameful.  He knows all about them already. He is there with your jail cell key in hand, waiting to give it to you to free you from all that guilt. Give him the shame and guilt. He died loving you and wanting you to be free at last.

“Cease Striving

And know that I am Abba-God” 
-Psalm 46:10 NASB