Ignorance and Ire

I will be going, early in the new year, to have the hardware taken out of my ankle (via surgery).  I really think that this hardware is causing me the majority of the pain in that ankle.

UGH...I just recalled something I want to talk about.  When someone looks at me, they don't know about the plethora of illness I'm struggling with; the pain that each motion causes me or the fact that my ankle is fused and the other one is bone on bone.  They don't know that if I stand for more than a couple of minutes, my lumbar spine becomes excruciating. They don't know that the exertion of walking through Walmart (even if my back and legs were fine) makes asthma act up and soon I will be unable to breathe.  And because with the exception of my crippled up hands, I look pretty normal.   So because maybe you are ignorant about invisible diseases...and maybe because you are ignorant about anything medical...and maybe because you are just plain ignorant about everything altogether...I guess I will have to, in all "fairness" pretend like I didn't hear you talking to your friend sotto voce, about the fact that I need to use a scooter in Walmart.  About the fact that I am too "lazy" to walk, ...let me tell you if I could RUN through Walmart I would run and leap and skip for joy.  And just because I am able to stand up and reach for something beyond my seated reach, doesn't mean that there is nothing wrong with me.

One of my relatives made a remark about my use of the wheelchair in my dad's church...because in his house I was using just crutches (this was not too long after my ankle fusion which was one of the worst things I've experienced except for dislocated hips) in the church where we were gathered with family to honor my mom who had just died.  Yes I CAN walk ....but if you knew how badly it hurts to walk, maybe you would opt for a wheelchair also. I'm no whus about pain.  But why should I suffer unbelievable pain just to make you feel better?  If it wasn't for my wheelchair and the scooters at some stores, I would be a prisoner at home even more than I am right now.

Let me just tell you, those of you who pass judgements based on ignorance and ire, that until you have walked a mile in my shoes and you found that that "mile" was in fact about a two foot distance, I would lovingly ask you to keep your thoughts to yourself because my life is hard enough--I don't need people condemning me and making me feel worse.