The Down and Dirty

OK.  I know it's time for a post, but if that expression ("If you can't find something nice to say then say nothing at all.") is true then maybe I shouldn't write anything right now.
ON THE OTHER HAND
If you want the real nitty, gritty down and dirty....you've probably come to the right place.

So you can't get much downer and dirtier than a UTI that has lasted for months.  So yeah.  That. 

I had to spend the week (daytime) at the Infusion Center at our medical center getting IV infusions of antibiotics.   So I'm feeling better from the UTI.  Then today came the worst part.  I'm not going to go into details because even though I pretty much always lay it right out there, this time I choose to preserve some dignity and privacy. 

Suffice it to say that during today's procedure I felt myself taking leave of my emotions and even leave of that room altogether...mentally that is.  I shut down.  Shut off.  And shut out.

The doctor saw that something was wrong because she kept asking me "Are you listening to me? Do you understand what I've told you?"  And in the end she printed out the directions I was to follow jic I really had not understood a word she said.

I understood her perfectly.

But I was within inches of a meltdown.  And my only protection to keep that from happening was to take leave of that room emotionally.  This "thing" I was responding to is something I will have to deal with for the REST OF MY LIFE.  And that is something I just can't wrap my mind around.  It's an intrusion.  A hassle.  Ugly.  Embarrassing. 

So anyway. If you would, please pray for me.  And while you're praying for me, pray that I could get my new phone programed and activated in the next day or two. Believe it or not, that stress is really wigging me out.  So maybe in a couple of days I will have calmed down and can come up with something meaningful and inspirational to say here. 

God bless each of you....and remind you to daily thank him for health (and if you don't have health, then thank him for the grace to get you through the day you're in.)