Ups and Downs.

First of all, I just want to report that with a few more visitors, we will hit the 50,000 visitor mark and that is just astounding to me.  Thank you to all of you who have faithfully stood by and read of my ups and downs.  I'm humbled that anyone would have any interest at all in what I write.

I also want to apologize.  My last couple of posts have been real downers.  Honestly I haven't been doing really well.  I've been suffering some visual hallucinations, thought disorder, and just general depression.  My case worker, after she spoke to me on Friday, called the Crisis center and had them call me for four days in a row just to check up on me.  I was a little embarrassed because I was not having real severe struggles and there was really nothing they could do or suggest to help me....but still it was nice that someone cared enough to call and check on me.  Even if that is just their job.

I've still been KIND OF losing weight but really it's more just like losing and regaining the same four pounds several times over.  Never really making any losses.  But I do think that once my system gets moving again, I will find that I really have been losing weight, it's just been masked by digestive backlog.  I have to be losing weight because I've been eating nothing bad, all on the Fuhrman diet and exercising to boot.  So I'm sure I really am making some kind of head way.  One of these days, it will all show up suddenly, I'm sure.

I had been good about my Bible reading and daily devotions for quite a while....and then in the past week it's all gone by the way side.  I still pray, sentence prayers usually lifitng someone else up....but haven't really had any heart to heart discussions with God lately. And I'm feeling the lack.  I'm feeling like a real heathen....and it's not a good feeling.  I know God is not crossing his arms tapping his foot, but rather is just saying, "If you would just come to me I would help you!!" 

I promise, to God and to you, that beginning today, I will take care of this lack of abiding on my part....and I know God will be very glad to see me once again.  I will honestly, be glad to see him too.  It's like holding your breath for no good reason....and getting all dizzy and sick feeling just because you've been too stubborn to breath.  Well no more.  BREATHE.....BREATHE.....BREATHE.

I hope that things will begin to be more positive around here.  What do you think of the new look?  That purple just hurt my eyes everytime I came on to this site.

Have yourselves a blessed day.  And remember to talk to the Lover of your soul.  He is waiting.