Standing in my own Way

I am working on losing weight. It's no big secret...I've talked about it here before.  But today I thought over the past X months of gaining and relosing the same 8 pounds.  It's been going on for so long I've begun to feel quite helpless about it....as though there's some force larger than myself at work, keeping me fat and weak.  But is that reality?  No.  I need to lose weight and if I could just lose ten pounds at this juncture rather than regaining the ten I just re-lost I would be a good way out of the trench I've dug for myself.

So why don't I?  Lose weight that is.  It's because I've come to feel like "OK - I'm at my low point now I can relax and eat what I want.  Or stop working out..or both."  But my "Lowpoint" is NOT my goalweight.  In fact it's like 60 pounds from my goal weight.  So why am I giving up now????  This is not the time to turn tail and walk....It's the time to DIG DEEP and press in harder!! The only one keeping me from my goal weight is me, myself, and I.  There is no bigger force at work here. (Other than Satan and the One in me is greater than him).  There is absolutely nothing keeping me from being successful and continuing to lose this weight.

It's a mental game. And it's one I'm losing.  And I'm losing unnecessarily.  Because you see there's no one else even playing the game!!  Pretty sad to lose a game when you are the only one playing!!  I don't know where this defeatest attitude comes from. It's eerily similar to the one I had when I was trying and trying to quit smoking.  Now THEN I had maybe more reason to feel defeated.  Nicotine is a powerful drug and I was badly addicted.  But even then, my determination prevailed and I quit.  Now one cannot "quit" eating.  but there is no reason why I cannot live a healthy lifestyle.  Here too I feel a bit of powerlessness because of a night time eating disorder I have.  But even WITH that...if I have to eat at night; I DON"T have to eat high calorie stuff.  No reason why I can't munch on a carrot. It's just a matter of recognizing that I am in charge.  NO one is shoving food into my mouth.  There is no reason why I cannot own the power that I truly do possess.  I need to stop blaming other things and other people for my failure to lose this weight. It's my failure.  It's also my game to win.  So win it I will.