Fighting Back

This blog has been terribly neglected lately, and my other one, completely abandoned. I'm not sure why this is...too busy? Or not busy enough? I guess the answer is that I've been busy, but not with anything interesting enough to share. I've been exercising fairly regularly now...and trying to limit my calories to a level where I should lose some more weight. I haven't been restricting them to an unhealthy degree like I was for a while...I managed to pull out of that nosedive before crashing. I love how it feels to watch muscles develop where previously there was "flab" and the feeling that I get when I can do something with ease that would have been impossible for me a couple of weeks ago (like carrying a full basket of laundry down the basement stairs). I still have to be careful of my hip. It has been feeling much less secure than it had prior to the dislocation...a bit more sore and kind of "wobbly"...so I am trying to be conscious of it at all times. It's when I forget about it, that I make a stupid move and I feel it right away, warning me "Do NOT do that again or you will live to regret it!"

Yesterday began a new challenge for me. It's the first really bad flare of the PsA that I've had in quite a while. I've had "achy days"...usually associated with weather systems moving in and out...but this is seriously painful. In the past, when this happened, I found it distressing, simply because it was uncomfortable to deal with. NOW, however, I am finding it a little more concerning as I have been learning more about RA (rheumatoid arthritis)...which is a twin sister of my disease (psoriatic arthritis). I've learned that a single flare can be so destructive that it can totally destroy numerous joints in the body and can cause a person to require splinting and assistive devices to walk PERMANENTLY afterward. I am learning that this disease can not only effect the joints, but the organs and basically every other biological system we have...including things like the endocrine system for example. That makes me wonder if my endocrine issues (I have problems with abnormal thyroid and parathyroid levels) are due to my PsA as well.

I have pretty much decided that, as much as is up to me, I'm going to abandon the "patient" mentality that I confess I've had in the past. I'm a person, not a patient. I just happen to have health issues. I will not easily agree to opt for medical interventions such as surgery or more medication. I've learned through much hard experience that such things more often than not, lead to even more complications and problems than you would have had without treatment. I need to get educated more about what alternative medicine has to offer me. I've been reading more and more about this.

I have a huge herbal cabinet from which I've treated many of my more minor ailments for the past several years. However, sadly, due to my memory loss after my last psychotic breakdown and ECT treatments, much of my knowledge of herbology is gone. I still have my books on it though, so am trying to reread them....Because retaining information is more challenging for me now, I find that often, I simply have to look up the answers to specific needs at the time they occur. I have a "pain-bath" mixture of Epsom salts and a combination of herbs which I invented some years ago which works, honestly, better than morphine on my pain. Of course, it is not always feasible to drop everything and take a soak in the bathtub...but when the pain becomes unbearable, I often do that. My father also swears by this treatment of mine. He's used it himself for his own pain and found it to be very effective. He thinks I should market it. But I really would have little idea of how to go about that. Instead, I've just been giving small quantities of it to friends who need it.

I wrote an article on my health "story" and on some of the conclusions to which this journey has led me. I sent it to a man who is a pioneer and leader in the emerging "e-patient" movement (which stands for "empowered patient"). These are people with serious illnesses who have "taken the bull by the horns," gotten educated about their illness and about various treatment modalities available to them, and insisted that their doctors PARTNER with them in their treatment... Rather than being an object upon which the doctors work; they want to be participants in their own care. And they demand to be treated as though they have something valuable to contribute to that relationship. I like that approach....But of course, it involves some effort, as an uneducated participant in the treatment team could really throw things into a dangerous spin. This gentleman (Dave Bronkhart) wrote a book on his recovery from Stage IV cancer after he was given, at most, five weeks to live. He teamed up after his recovery with other people who are fighting back...and this movement is the consequence. He is still looking at my final draft of the article, so I'm not sure yet where that all will lead.

Anyway, these are some of the issues that have been occupying my mind and my time lately. I'm sorry that there is no great moral to this story...other than just to keep fighting back; no matter what forces come together to knock you over. The human mind and spirit is capable of accomplishing much; Team that up with a partnership with the Lord God and you have a winning combination.