Living the Questions

I am reading a book entitled Prayerfulness by Robert J. Wicks. He is a writer who approaches his craft and his life from a perspective deeply grounded in the Catholic tradition but who, I find, has much to say to all Christians about what it is that makes a Christian person of faith different from anyone else around us. The manner of being which he called "prayerfulness" is really a Christian Mindfulness or a spiritual mindfulness as it developes from a life deeply in tune with the God of Israel, Isaac and Jacob. A prayerful consciousness and manner of being is really what makes us who we are: Children of the Almighty God.

There is much in this book that is of interest and which would make for great discussion, however what I want to focus on here is a section where Wicks describes a number of people who encountered the deep, unsearchable side of God; the depths of which most people would rather not plumb. When life hands us pits rather than cherries, it is hard for us to see when we are starving, the longterm sources of life and sustenance contained in those pits...for we are starving NOW, hungry NOW and often question why God should hand us a bowl of unpalatable hard things.

Wick quotes a woman who in turn quotes Rilke in his Letters to a Young Poet:

"Do not search now for answers which cannot be given to you because you could
not live them. It is a matter of living everything. Live the
questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it,
one day live right into the answer."

I like this thought: live the questions. And one day the path of questions may very well lead you smack into the answers that you sought. But the path of uncertainty and darkness must be walked. It must be lived. For it is our journey. We cannot find the answer to why God allows us to hurt, why He allows our beloved ones to die within the facile image of the smiley-faced God that so many want to serve us. "Smile, God loves you." "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." Yes, both of those statements are true. But they fail to mention that God often demonstrates his love for us in ways that we cannot comprehend and often don't recognize as love. They fail to mention that the path to the wonderful destination God has planned is often one of anguish, sorrow and pain.

I do not think that it is fair to God nor fair to the world that we hide the truth about him in such euphimisms. Because then, when someone embraces such a shallow happy God and suddenly find themselves plunged into torturous suffering, the obvious next step is to blame God for the false advertisement which drew them to him in the first place. If you look throughout Scripture, you will see that God is pretty honest about the pain and suffering mankind will face in their journey toward the Kingdom of Light. He never promises health, wealth or prosperity, regardless of the claims to the contrary by some believers.

Why are we as humans so inclined to insist that the world owes us fairness? Why does suffering strike us as such an injustices, such a WRONG? I think the answer lies in CS Lewis's remark, the "We were not made for this world." Our hearts are designed to live in a world where justice reigns, where pain is barred, where Death is conquered. We must come to understand, that this life is the life of questions. It is leading us to the world of answers. We must allow it to take us through some pretty dark paths in the journey there. We need to understand that this very journey is what refines our souls and prepares us to withstand the intensity of glory that we shall find in that "Answer-World." We have to understand that it is in the hard knots of hardship which we have been handed, lie the seeds to the life which does not end nor disappoint.

Do not be so fast to judge God by the questions until you have seen and experienced the answers. Let him finish his sentence before you presume to say that you understand his intent.