I just re-read the last post and I want to apologize for it. I did not mean to imply that the kind lady who helped me in the grocery store was blind to the suffering of others. On the contrary, she knew pain and saw that I was suffering and wanted to help.
And secondly I should not have made a blanket statement like "I will never be without pain"...that statement makes no room for faith or for miracles. And I do believe that God can heal me. Or at least grant some respite. At this point...after all these years, I can say that my expectation of a miracle has dimmed. I am more and more seeing Jesus' footprints ahead of me ---tracks leading to the cross; and I know that Jesus has his work cut out in teaching me how to suffer gracefully.
So you see. I am a sinner. And God is working on honing off my rough edges. So please bear with me as you see evidences of my sin nature. I cannot hide it and pretend to be a paragon of holiness. I'm not one. Sometimes I look at other Christians and think, "How can they be so perfect, so joyful, so trusting? I know that God has a lot of perfecting to do on me and believe me it is not a painless process. The worst of the pain is when I see how far I fall short of the person God wants me to be. But I am journeying toward a place where I will BE the person God has in mind for me. And the amazing thing is that that is how he sees me right now. He looks at me and sees the righteousness of Jesus!! How exciting is that?!!