Chris Tomlin O Come all Ye Faithful

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Anxiety and the God who Never Changes

Some years ago I began to struggle with anxiety--it seemed to hit me at night when I laid down to sleep.  I would begin to think of our finances and what disasters lurked for us there.  I would think of national issues...wars...famines...disaster upon disaster.  I would think of my daughter growing up in this uncertain world.  I would think of what a state I would be in if my husband left me or it he died.  I would think of my health issues and forecast them into my future and old age. 

My breathing would be fast; my heart pounding.  Sleep would not come at my bidding no matter how tired I was.  It was misery.  I would speak my fears to my husband and he would either tell me I was worrying for nothing or else that I was making HIM anxious with my fears.

I began to read everything I could get my hands on about anxiety and fear....I gathered a collection of articles and booklets....and you know what? None of their suggestions helped me in the slightest. 

One night I lay, praying...."Oh God, please deliver me from this captivity." And came the quiet whisper I so longed to hear.  "Cynthia, do you remember the time when you were in (he gave an example of an impossible need we had faced some years prior)....and the miracle I did to provide for you then?" 
"Yes, Lord"
"And don't you think I can and will provide for your next need and the one after that?"
"Yes Lord"
"Remember when I said in my Word, 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
(Matthew 6:34 (NKJV) "Remember how I only provided enough manna for one day's allotment of food...when they Israelites gathered more than one day's provision, it rotted and filled with worms?"
"Yes Lord.  I see what you are saying.  You have met every need that has arisen--just in time."

So I got out of bed and opened a new notebook and I began to write time after time when I or my husband and I were in crisis.  And the Lord's amazing miracles which came every time just as we needed them.  And I recalled the Scripture saying "Yesterday, today and forever, I (the Lord speaking) am the same" and I realized that if God had met my needs back then, he will protect me and provide for me today and tomorrow as well. I just need to trust him.

From that time on I had a deep abiding peace.  Even when the people around me were panicking about things they faced that day or about possible disasters and dangers in the future...I was not shaken.  I did not fear.  Now there have been some times when I needed to pull out that notebook (now in a file on my laptop) and review the faithfulness of God but that was all the "medicine" I needed.

Now this anxiety I am having of late, is a chemical response my body is having to a medicine.  I've stopped taking that med and the anxiety is fading away.  This anxiety was not about need, or danger but about my ability to cope...even with something as easy as writing a letter.  And my husband has blessed me through a lot of this stress by taking over dealing with the insurance company and mediating the questions about billing or correcting inaccurate claims.  Thank the Lord, that I had some anxiety medication which puts an almost immediate halt to the runaway train of panic.  And now I have not taken this med in three days.  And have not had any more of this horrible anxiety.

But I hope that my story has given you a grip on your anxiety and what you may try to get to solid ground once more.  If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, then you may find it difficult to look at ways in which God has helped you.  But the Bible says that God waters the desert as well as the fields. (or something to that effect) so that means that for general mercies, you may have received favor and provision from the Lord as well.  I hope you will realize from whence comes your help and ask him to show himself to you. Thank him for meeting your needs and get to know him.  You will be glad to know my wonderful Lord...make him your Lord as well.

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