Unspoken: I Lift my Life Up

Monday, December 12, 2016

Time Passages

Well, my last post has gotten a little more stale and moldy than I'd intended. I've been busy living life and forgot to bring you along for the ride.  Last Friday was my 54th birthday.  I missed mom a lot that day....but on Saturday my dad came over and took me out to dinner.  It was to have been a real celebration and there were supposed to be more people than the two of us, but everyone was busy doing their own thing; so it was just Dad and me.  Because it was only the two of us, I chose a slightly more expensive restaurant.  We went to a local inn which houses a steakhouse.  It was complete with a roaring fireplace, decorations on the mantle and a floor to ceiling Christmas tree.  The food was delicious (carnivorous and fattening--all morays went out the window for the day).  I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  And THEN, my daughter's boyfriend brought me a German Chocolate bakery made birthday cake.  (My favorite kind of cake)  I had altogether too much of it. The evening almost ended in disaster when my dad thought he had lost his wallet, but thankfully he located it where he had put it without thinking. 

Since then I've been dealing with some pretty wicked pain, especially today, following a 5" snowfall that was slushy and wet and heavy.  So my aching body has been housed in my recliner and I've done little of the reading that was my goal for today.  ("Little?"  Try NONE)  I did shower however, so all was not lost.)  

How is it that the days slip by me...right through my fingers....with me accomplishing almost nothing? It seems like I don't have TIME for anything.  How can that be when most of the time I have 100% available time?  How can I not have time for it? Are these not the same 24 hour spans I had when in High School.....attending school for 8 or 9 hours, doing homework, practicing my flute for several hours, painting for awhile and then going to bed to sleep another 8 hours? Or similarly when I worked or was raising a baby...cooking meals, making my own bread and soymilk, prepping for and teaching a ladies' Bible Study....and maintaining friendships.  I have become completely incompetent!

It is true that pain has had its way with me.  It forces me to be vertical for no longer than two or three minutes at a time.  Also my habit of being online and chatting with people has chewed up IMMENSE chunks of time.  Probably 85% of my time is spent thus. And while those friendships are important, it is largely time given away.  I don't know.  It all depends on what your goals and ambitions are.  And mine are largely unidentified.  I need to think this through....but with another year gone, I am feeling burdened by my lack of accomplishing anything.  God will have to reveal HIS agenda to me so that I can get myself in line with it.











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