Sidewalk Prophtes: Closer

Monday, September 26, 2016

Barren

I apologize for my absence. I'm facing two factors causing my silence. First is that I have not yet replaced my laptop and really hate the slowness of my tablet or phone.  Second is that I have spent weeks just sitting in this recliner waiting for my foot to heal and it's difficult to come up with topics to write about when absolutely nothing iis going on!

Last Thursday I made the hour and a half trip to see my surgeon as a follow up to my fall last Monday.  I have to say that for probably the first time I did not leave there seething following being treated like a naughty child.  Both the nurse and the doctor were pleasant. So it was with some relief that I left and made the trek home.  Once again I had to call the fire men to make use of their muscles to get me in a wheelchair up the six steps to my house.

This time I came home with instructions: NO weight on my foot for two to three weeks. Following that I'm allowed to stand..not walk.And then I go back to see the doc after four weeks.  In two weeks I have two important MD appointments.   I am planning on going in my wheelchair.... But still have to, in some manner, get down and then up those steps. I will leave that in God's hsnds for now.

Mentally how am I faring?  Other than struggling with depression, I have been frightfully sane. The only abnormality I've experienced are some olfactory hallucinations. No "movies" (visual hallucinations), no delusions, no auditory nonsense. And this has left me strangely BLANK. Not many thoughts . No strong emotions. And this, rather than relief, has brought uneasiness.

When an alarm has been clanging for weeks, months on end...and it suddenly stops...the silence is deafening. That's how I'm feeling. I need something to replace the noise and the distractions.  What that 'something' might be, I have no idea.

I'm empty.
Barren.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Grounded

When I went to my appointment withthevsurgeon who fused my ankle, she really let me have it for putting weight on my foot . She claimed that she never gave me permission to do that.  However she told me I could walk within mg father's hearing and I have written orders in her handwriting stating I could begin to walk..  Plus my physical therapist called her three tines to clarify the orders

So she put me back on nonweight bearing status. Then the night before last I got up in the night to use the bathroom and tripped and landed with my full weight on my bad ankle. I felt something give way inside my foot. Pain was terrible so I called 911. They took me to the ER and my foot was Xrayed. They told me nothing was broken and said I'd damaged some ligaments.

When I called the surgeon from hell and told her what happened, she insisted I stay off my foot and wants to see me tomorrow.  What I find interesting is that in order for me to go see her, I have to go down six steps and back up them. I have not yet perfected flying so unfortunately will have to use my feet. Yesterday there was no way I could!d consider climbing those stairs, so we called the fire dept who saved the day by carrying me up them in a stair chair.

Pain today is less than yesterday so I will have to see how I feel tomorrow. If I'd have been told the truth about this surgery, I never would have had it. Recovery is longterm and painfully difficult. And the result may be even worse pain than that which it was supposed to alleviate.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Back in Business

This will  be brief...I got home from the rehab hospital on Friday (today is Sunday). By Friday evening my foot was hurting a lot. By Saturday it was out of control pain. Now I cannot out any weight on my foot at all. Monday I have an appointment with the surgeon and will be X-rayed to see what is causing this pain.

The experience of the nursing/rehab facility was a positive one. I had a caring committed physical therapist and a kind OT (occupational therapist). All of them were talented and skilled. I worked hard and have some muscles to show for it. Although with this pain I've not been motivated to work out since I got home.

I did a lot of reading there. In 9 weeks I read over 17 books. After some years where I really struggled to read, it was nice to immerse myself in a book.

I'm sorry for not posting sooner. My computer is terminally ill and I couldn't write a post on my phone. So now I have a new Kindle Fire tablet and that is a bit more manageable. I will try to post more regularly from now on.
Vaya con dios!