God with Us

I finally got the software I've been lusting after, Studio ArtRage Pro.  With this I will be able finally to do watercolors on my cyber tablet.  I also bought a replacement pen for the tablet because mine was broken.  Frustration piled upon frustration however because the pen for some reason, isn't working properly.  I contacted Adesso who thought it was an issue with the drivers.  They sent me a new driver and while it helped, it did not solve the problem.  I'm so frustrated by this delay.  I have two paintings on a back burner and I'm eager to get to them.

While technology opens many doors a slight technical snaffoo can completely derail our attempts to use our equipment.  Face it, there are not too many technical difficulties one can encounter with a pencil and a paint brush!  And if you do encounter a problem, they are the type of issues that we can deal with using our common sense.  When a tablet malfunctions, unless you are a genius engineer, there is very little we can do about it... we are helpless.  We are dependent.

So it is we are forced to deal in extremes...either the sky is the limit---or you are completely shut down....I'm so frustrated by this pen issue, it makes me want to attempt to revert to manual methods of art making.  However my disease prevents that from working also.  My hands just will not cooperate with a brush and pen and paint. 

So I"m screwed...

...Dependent on an answer from the help desk at Adesso.

It just gets me thinking about dependance and helplessness.  None of us like to be helpless  or dependent on something to function in order for us to be effective at doing what we need or want to do.  I was thinking about how God, was totally in control of every aspect --of himself and of his creation.  If he wanted to flood the earth, he could; to send a plague:done!  If he wanted to fly from one corner of the earth to the opposite side, or to another galaxy....just think the thought and he was there!

That God.  With that kind of power....set it all aside.  Accepted the tight quarters, extreme helplessness and dependence of a womb. He came onto the scene in a filthy stable.  Child of a poor couple....not even in charge of his own bowel movements.  I cannot wrap my mind around that.  That is like the most tech savvy guru suddenly unable to play a crossword puzzle....whereas before, every piece of accessible information was at his fingertips.  It's like a world class gymnast, who was in charge of every muscle, suddenly suffering spinal cord injury and not being able to move a finger.  God did this and more. He did it voluntarily.  Why? To be Emmanuel.  God with us.
WE are dependent.  We came into the world via the same helpless manner.  He wanted to be one of us. To know our frustrations... to share our dependance.

Emmanuel. God with us.

Cogitations

I went shopping with my friend on the Saturday after Black Friday.  I went in my wheelchair and we got to the mall early so there were no big crowds to contend with.   By the time we left the mall, that was changing.  All in all we spent a lovely, rather painless day shopping.  Of course, I spent more than I intended to.  I got an outfit and a sweater and a  new pillow and new sheets for my bed.  Today, (CyberMonday)  I finished up my Christmas shopping.  I am in good shape now for the holidays.

The worst part though is yet to come.

Wrapping

Yes, I confess, I'm a clutz when it comes to wrapping although I do have to say that working in a printshop and wrapping reams of paper did help me quite a bit in the flat box department. But change the shape and I'm lost.  I once had a friend who treated the wrapping like an act of love.  Her packages were so beautiful that it was sad to open them.  I suppose it really does add to the overall experience to make them a work of art but I don't feel very artistic when faced with a pile of presents and some rolls of paper....  I feel like running.

And now I'm thinking of the house.  It needs decoration.  Face it.  Christmas in an undecorated house has just got to be sad.  In years past my husband has told me not to decorate because it was a guarantee that I would get sick and be in the hospital and then come home all steroid-weak and it would be April before the decorations would get put away.  Last year my friend (the same one who took me shopping) said, "Phooey to that.  You need decorations."  And singlehandedly she put away the decour already out there and brought in the Christmas things.  And she put them all away again after Christmas too...

That, folks, is a true friend.


I cannot assume she will do the same this year so I need to have a plan to try to get it done.  Maybe if I "undecorate" on one day....and save bringing the Christmas stuff in for a day later I could do it.  I will definitely need help carrying in the crates though from the garage.  If I tried to do that I'd end up on a ventilator....Maybe if I undecorate this week sometime, my husband will carry stuff in on the weekend when he is off.
Maybe.

If not. There's always the emergency batphone call to my dad.  SOS:  a Decorating Emergency.  He will surely respond.  OOOOoohh
I've got it.
My dad is coming here to take me to the doc's on Thursday.
If I can undecorate before then then he can carry in the stuff on Thursday while he's here.

Why pray tell, am I sharing with you my preChristmas cogitations? I don't really know.  Probably because I started this blog post without a clear idea of where I was going with it. ...and well.....you got carried along with me on the sea of my thoughts.  Sorry folks.

I'll try to write a real blog post soon.  AS SOON as I have any REAL thoughts. I will write them down for you.
Promise.

One for you; Two for Me.

Tomorrow my friend is going to take me shopping.  I'm very excited about it; more about getting out of the house than for any other reason.  I am taking my wheelchair which means I should be more able to enjoy being out....not distracted by pain quite so much.  Of course my neck can put up a fuss and probably will but I will bring my neck brace and a bottle of PRNs to deal with that.

Do you have this problem?  You are in the process of shopping for Christmas presents and it's all like "One for her, one for him, two for me...."  I HATE when I do that.  And I just got done doing it today.  I mean, isn't Black Friday supposed to be for the benefit of those you love???  HOW DID I GET INTO THE PICTURE???  So okay, my birthday is in two weeks, so I talked my husband into letting me order my own gift (he was just gonna give me money anyway).....And so now I know what I'm getting.  OK, I already knew what I was getting.

I seriously hope I am not disappointed by my gifts.  And since I chose them I have no one to blame but myself.  The thing that I find the most disappointing is that I did it again.  I fell for the "stuff monster" (as opposed to stuffed monster).  The stuff monster convinces me that I really need this stuff in order to go on.  In order to survive and thrive. The question is when am I gonna get serious and take some of the presents (stuff) from past years, box them up and donate them?  Because you can't just endlessly add to the pile of STUFF around you.  Soon you won't be able to see over it.  Soon you won't be SEEN behind it.  I will just disappear and all that will remain is the stuff I just couldn't live without.

I think of my Philippine friends.  They do not have this problem, I don't think.  Are they happier than I?  I know if I were to give them the gifts intended for me this Christmas they would be happier about them than I am.  Or maybe not.  Maybe because they are not choked by stuff, Stuff doesn't have its green slimy hands around their neck.  Maybe they are free enough to know that it really doesn't matter.  I'm really not sure how it works.  Because I know that for those who do not find their contentment in Christ, even not having stuff can become a trap.  A trap of unmet greed and desire.

So maybe that is the solution - both for them and for me.  To be contented in Christ.  One time many years ago, I really really wanted to be satisfied in Christ alone.  I did not want to be owned by my stuff.  So  I brought my friend into my house.  I showed her all of my treasures.  And  I told her I wanted her to take whatever it was she wanted from my stuff.  It sounds easy to do...but actually, I had to face every one of my possessions and mentally disengage from it.  I had to know that I may not own it tomorrow.  I had to say "goodbye"to every item I owned.

That was a freeing exercise....and in the end I WAS free!!  I knew that as long as I had Jesus, I would be okay....better than OKay.  I knew too that no one and nothing could take me from the hands of Jesus.  I am HIS possession and there ain't no one nowhere who is big enough to take from God what is his.  In fact the only thing that can get in the way of the love fest going on between me and Jesus, was my own self.  My own STUFF.

Folks.  this is an ongoing battle. And we must stay on top of it....otherwise we will be buried underneath it.  I need to see a new way that I can beat this dragon.  Maybe from the new "stuff" I get this year, I need to pick from it and give it away.  Give it to someone who doesn't have it or who cannot ever hope of getting it.   We cannot relax.  WE cannot breathe easy.  This is a war.

Jesus called "stuff" a word that we don't use any more.  He called it "Mammon" and really it meant the "stuff"of the world.  And he said something frightening.  He said we cannot serve both it and Him.  One or the other must go.  There is NO SUCH THING as "having it all"....nope. Jesus must be our all and if he isn't...then we've inherited a big mess of trouble.  My words are not just for you today.  They are mostly for me....and if they are pricking you too then so much the better.  But I know that I need to proactively come up with a way of disengaging.  And let me tell you a secret.  The more you value your Jesus, the easier it is to let go of the stuff....because we can see right through it's cardboard face to the hell on the other side.  And you will see how wonderfully beautiful and valuable your Jesus is.  And you will discover that the less Mammon you have, the more of Jesus you have and there will absolutely be no lack.  you will have indeed discovered the secret of being content in all circumstances, as Paul discovered too.