How Great is Our God in HEBREW,

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

In a Muddle

I don't have anything much of value to say.  I am in  a huge amount of pain.  Yesterday I had an appointment with my ortho surgeon.  I asked him about the pain I have in the "good" hip.  He felt around and I jumped and yipped.  He said that the gluteus medius (sp?) is inflamed.  He told me that PsA does not only affect joints but also tendons and muscles and that is why this is happening. 

My rheum doc sent me an email yesterday telling me that in my recent bloodwork, my SED rate or ESR (a test to measure inflammation in the body) was up from 33 (already a high number) to 77 !!!  That is off the charts.  He said (duh!) that my rheumatic disease is out of control. Right now my only hope is that the Stelara I started taking, would help to get that elusive control.  All I know is, right now, I feel like crap. Every inch of my body hurts.  Really.  And fatigue is overwhelming also.

I don't know.  I didn't sign up for this.

Pretty much, every aspect of my life is messed up right now.  And I don't know what to do about it.  I feel frozen in my tracks, unable to move in any direction. I don't know whether I should be taking steps to prepare to go into assisted living or not.  If I do, and one of these meds is successful at helping me feel better....then  I may have committed myself to a direction I don't really want to go.  And if I don't prepare myself and I get to the point where i cannot help myself, I may be trapped by circumstances beyond my control.  I really need some guidance from God.

Please pray for me that God would grant me discretion and courage and direction.  Thanks.

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