Yesterday, Timothy Ward, a young (29 year old) man contacted me in hopes of being able to share his poetry on my blog. This is a young man who was hospitalized 10 times for Bipolar, which later evolved into Schizoaffective Bipolar Type.
“I have been forcibly medicated 5 years of my life but have never found peace on medication. It was not until I recently found Jesus Christ that my life began to change for the better. I now have acceptance, peace, serenity, and gratitude. I have been able to put my physical and mental problems into perspective and trust in God's will for my life. I have fully surrendered to him, and freedom has been found. It's hard for me to fully explain the transformation, but it is very real, and I see the difference Jesus is playing in my life on a daily basis. I am currently being forced medication now while being out of the hospital, but one day I hope to be free of all medication and what I consider to be the evil snares of the mental health system. I know they have the best intentions, but labeling me mentally ill and stuffing a bunch of pills down my throat does not seem to be in my best interest.”
Here are two of Tim’s poems, written while in a psych hospital. Please read them and if you would, leave some comments for Tim to encourage him.
Jan 13th, 2014
(The Safety Officers)
Security, Security, all I see is Blue Coats,
But No Security.
No one to preserve my right to be Free.
No one to love me for me, and keep
Those drugs out of ME.
How long will it take before they violate my civil rights?
Because if they shoot me with that needle,
I give up all of my civil rights, most importantly
My right to be FREE.
Freedom of mind is most important to me.
Do what you will to my body, it is written,
But do not attack my mind, which is most important to Thee.
For without an open pathway between body, heart, mind, soul, and tongue,
I am just another bum, living off the government.
Let me be free, to save the people from the powers that be.
Fear not, I am here.
I’m the man with the light and no internal fear.
Just a healthy respect for the competition, the wicked ones,
That move like puppets and try to destroy The One.
I’m here, it is written, for all of God’s creatures.
But if they drug me for no reason, because my message is too Real for them,
Then I have no choice,
But to destroy all of them.
Not with fists or fire, but with these words, the people’s desire.
Loneliness is loving only 1 man on Earth,
And wishing that man was dead.
Loneliness is having your best friend say,
“Do not call me from this number ever again.”
Loneliness is wanting to scream your head off
But knowing it would be easier to blow it off.
Loneliness is putting your thoughts on paper,
But knowing that nobody cares to read them.
Loneliness is knowing that no matter what I say,
I cannot prove my sanity.
Loneliness is loving God but living in the world.
Loneliness is accepting a mission from God that I cannot win.
Loneliness is being Jesus on the Cross.
Loneliness is being a Christian in America.
Loneliness is being a slave to the system.
Medicate me, invalidate me, you can’t stop me, only sedate me.
I’m coming world, in this year or the next.
I’m the 2nd coming world, or at least I think I’m the best.
God chose me, not you, but I can teach you to come through,
The gates of Heaven, here on Earth,
What an oxymoron, come witness the 2nd birth.
It is written in the Book, that He shall rise again,
To reclaim His Kingdom, Forever and Ever, Amen.
Thank you Timothy for these sincere words. Keep writing and keep the Faith. Continue your fight to gain mental wellness and never lose heart.