Phil Wickham When My Heart is Torn Asunder

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Word for 2016:Awaken

As I mentioned in a recent post, my word for 2015 was "Blameless"--this word was given to me by God and marked the beginning  of a season of confession and repentance that lasted all year.   In looking forward to 2016 I had hoped that the word for the impending year might be "Intimacy"--but now, as I paged through the book Valley of Vision (a collection of Puritan prayers and devotional writings) a word caught my eye.: Awakened. Here is the prayer from whence the word glowed:

O my forgetful soul
Awake from thy wandering dream;
turn from chasing vanities
Look inward, upward, forward
view thyself
reflect upon thyself
     who  and what thou art and why here,
     what thou soon must be.
Thou art a creature of God,
    formed and furnished by him
    lodged in  a body like a shepherd in his tent
Dost thou not desire to know God's ways?
There is more to the devotion...the rest turning to address God himself.   But I think for now there is enough here to point me in the right direction.
I think it is interesting --the very first sentence--O MY FORGETFUL SOUL--when just today I commented to my daughter my lament at the destruction of my capacity to recall...even the day prior.  It is difficult to live this way...always searching for clues to open my mind to recall and swim its way through the confusion and my hazy mind.  This prayer leads me to wonder if --it is possible to have a secure sense of self --in relation to the world, but more importantly , in relation to HIM.  And perhaps this can be obtained by prayer...and by memorizing and meditating on the Word. Perhaps there is a firm floor in these muddy murky waters.  And perhaps in order to find it, I must plunge through and dive down.  
Interestingly this man adjures himself to "look, inward, forward, upward"...He does not say to look backward.  Perhaps if I am solidly planted on the Rock, and know who I am in Christ and lean on the Father for guidance...maybe where I have been is not a matter of importance.

Perhaps before God can (or would) heal my mind he would like for me to find strong anchor in himself.  That reminds me of a hymn we used to sing in church

In times like these you need a Savior
In times like these you need an anchor;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!


Chorus
This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One;
This Rock is Jesus, the only One!
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

In times like these you need the Bible,
In times like these O be not idle;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock.


Chorus

(author unknown)

I need to find my anchor.  Jesus is the ROCK the anchor grips.  What is the anchor?  According to the second verse in the hymn we need the Bible. Is the Bible my anchor? Is Bible memorization my anchor?  Maybe the anchor is memory itself.  It is true....I feel anchorless.  I feel as if I am free floating, spinning in swirling eddies of muddy water.

According to the Puritan passage above we need sure knowledge of ourselves --in relation to Jesus, in relation to each other, in relation to the world we inhabit.  In relation to the ESSENCE of ourselves, creatures before the Creator, reporting for service, never for a moment forgetting that we are dust.  That we are as temporary as the grass in the field.  And yet God has a purpose for us.  It is crucial to know what that purpose is, both generally and specifically.  

Memorization.
Meditation.

Both are keys to unlock God's plan for me.  I have heard of something called "The Healing of Memories"
while I could use that to be sure, what I am really seeking is "The Healing of Memory" itself.  For God the past is as clear and as current as the present and the future as known and sure as He is himself.  I don't really know where i am going with this....but what I do know is that God wants to tell me something here...and it may take me all year to plumb the depths of it.

Awaken.
Stop coasting.
Stop looking to get out
Know who you are in Christ.
And be and do all that that entails.

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