Wonder- Hillsong United

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

All of it



I just this week finished my antibiotic and got down to the lowest level in my steroid taper.....only to wake up one night (Monday night) unable to breathe.  My lungs are full of congestion and my airways are inflamed and closing due to my severe asthma.  I went  to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed that my lungs sound like crap.  He decided : no more antibiotics, and to take me once more to the highest dose of steroids and to do another slow taper.  I know...and I think he knows, that this is unlikely to help me.  My question is: how many rounds of 60 mg of Solule Medrol QID will it take to get me back to breathing and functioning again....and really--most importantly--how many doses like that can a body tolerate before breaking down completely?

So I'm home.  Each breath a struggle.  And to top it all off, I have hurt my back--probably from coughing.  Now  I cannot stand without  crying in pain.  I feel completely helpless.  I don't know what God is doing here.  I wish I had some help.  I wish I had some frozen dinners so that I need only to microwave them.  I wish I could breathe without coughing....I wish my back didn't have a red-hot dagger in it.  Wishes.

I do have some praise/thanks to report.  A week or two ago I received several bills totaling several thousand dollars.  I decided --when I saw them--that I would NOT panic. I would NOT worry. I would NOT do anything but to  pray about them.  So I prayed for a week....finally, when I felt ready, I called both offices involved in these bills....and do  you know what I ended up owing?  $25!!  God is so good---and when we make a deliberate decision to trust him, he comes through and we feel chagrined.  "What was I even worried about?"

So I will do the same thing now.  I will take it one breath at a time and I will ask God to work his will.  When I was in the hospital...the first night there...I went through at least 3 IV sites that continually were failing.  I have horrible veins...destroyed by years of IV antibiotics and steroids.  They brought an ICU nurse in....who tried 4 times and finally got a line....which collapsed shortly thereafter.  Through a series of events, a nurse named "Betsy" came to my room and she got a line.  A good line.  So I put out a call to the prayer chain in my church and I asked them to pray  that this IV would last for the remaining week.  Yes.  HIGHLY unlikely....Even on healthy veins, a week is a long time for an IV to last.  But you know what?  Yes,  you know.  That IV stayed in for the remainder of the week...it didn't bother me, it wasn't in an annoying spot...It just worked for the whole time that I needed it to work.  Coincidence?

No.  GOD...
....a God who loves me and cares for all that concerns me.  A God who is slowly and surely chiseling me and my faith to create something beautiful.  He has shown me so much this year that I do NOT need to worry...but in everything , by prayer and thanksgiving to present my requests to God...And my God is faithful, who will supply all my needs in Glory by Christ Jesus. 

“But as for you, O My servant, do not fear, Nor be dismayed...! For, see, I am going to save you from afar,  Jeremiah 46:27

A God, close at hand, who is able to save from afar.  Now what does he require of us?  That we trust him implicitly.  He will take care of all that concerns me. (Yes, I meant to repeat that).  Whether it be a bill, poor health, putting food on the table, difficult relationships...your child's future.  All of it.  Fear not nor be dismayed.

Post a Comment