The day after yesterday, my friend took me on a jaunt to anywhere I wanted to go (obviously a day trip).I chose to go an hour south into NJ where there is a nice mall and a bunch of good stores surrounding the mall. First we went to Walmart and I was grateful to find they had a functioning scooter. I did have my wheelchair in the car but was hoping not to have to deal with it until we got to the mall.
At WalMart I got two pair of capris and three t-shirts and two house dresses. That pretty much exhausted my budget for the entire day. But we went to the mall anyway just to look around.. At the mall I used the wheelchair. I can no longer "self propel" because of my bad shoulders. After just a very short time pain became horrible.I tried standing and holding on to the wheelchair like a walker. That only lasted about one minute before my SI (sacral illiac) began to stab me in my hips and lower back. It was obvious that I was in severe pain. My friend felt so bad... there was nothing she could do to alleviate it... We tried to have a good time anyway. Finally we made our way to the food court which was where we had entered the mall. I ordered a "Mexican/Thai dish and a mango smoothie with Bubbles (a favorite thing of mine)....The dish had 5 falafel on it. I took one bite and almost choked -- it was SO spicy. I tried a few more bites, but my mouth, which was already sore from Sjogrens Disease, was just on fire. I gave the food to my friend who tolerated it better than I. Then we made our way home When I got home I dropped on the bed and slept a LONG long time.
The next day I needed to go to the pharmacy...we stopped for brunch, then I went to the pharmacy and my driver went to get a hair cut....Timing worked out perfectly. And we made our way home. Again I was so exhausted I could cry. That night I went to bed a 5 Pm and slept til 6 AM when I had ot get up.
I have been reading a book by O Hallesby called "Prayer" and he has an interesting theory that God enters the scene with the answer to our prayers when we finally come to an end of our own efforts and desire, and then, when we are completely helpless,God goes to work. How very very true this is! Have you ever lost something? You look high and low under every couch cushion and in every pocket. Finally in total exasperation you cry out "LORD WHERE IS IT?" and you lift your eyes and the first thing you see is the item you were so frantic about...resting innocently where you had last placed it. Or sometimes you hear a quiet voice saying "did you think of looking in your shoe?" And you say, "Lord, that's ridiculous" And there you look and your car keys were stuffed in to your shoes by your toddler and you NEVER would have thought of looking there.
I have been learning, as I've come to depend on advice from my Lord, to get to the point of helplessness, long before I'd searched the house. I would look around and realize I need help...So I lift my empty hands and say,"Lord, you know where this item is and I do not. It would be foolish for me to search the house when all I need to do is to ask you....so here I am, asking you." And I wait for that quiet voice and sure enough.
Now God's purpose in our lives is not to help us find our car keys...but the car keys teach us two important things. 1) to recognize our helplessness to help ourselves in ANY WAY.
2) To recognize the voice of God and to seek it in our prayer closet. The more we hear from him....the more we will desire to hear from him. And soon it becomes an internal dialogue give and take all day. An ambulance passes by, ask Jesus to help and protect the occupants....Your child misbehaves..you ask the Heavenly FATHER how to discipline.
I got some disturbing news today. I went to the hospital for my monthly IV infusion of a biologic drug to help to fight my autoimmune diseases....and they did bloodwork as a part of the routine. Shortly after they drew my blood, the nurse came over with some papers in her hand and she said, "you bloodwork doesn't look good. Your liver enzymes are very high. We called your doctor and he said not to give you the IV today....you are to call him and set up an appointment for two weeks.
Now this can mean anything. If you are my pessimistic friend it means liver cancer. If you are me,it just means I probably have to switch meds or at the worst, go off medicine and just let the disease have its way with me. In any of the possible scenarios: I have my Father who is the Great Physician. He knows I'm helpless on his operating table. And I know that the skill of my heavenly surgeon will know just what I need to have cut out of me to make me function better...spiritually or physically.
Just remember there are two things you need to have a thriving prayer life. Helplessness and absolute trust. With these in your corner, you CANNOT fail...because your Father cannot fail.
At WalMart I got two pair of capris and three t-shirts and two house dresses. That pretty much exhausted my budget for the entire day. But we went to the mall anyway just to look around.. At the mall I used the wheelchair. I can no longer "self propel" because of my bad shoulders. After just a very short time pain became horrible.I tried standing and holding on to the wheelchair like a walker. That only lasted about one minute before my SI (sacral illiac) began to stab me in my hips and lower back. It was obvious that I was in severe pain. My friend felt so bad... there was nothing she could do to alleviate it... We tried to have a good time anyway. Finally we made our way to the food court which was where we had entered the mall. I ordered a "Mexican/Thai dish and a mango smoothie with Bubbles (a favorite thing of mine)....The dish had 5 falafel on it. I took one bite and almost choked -- it was SO spicy. I tried a few more bites, but my mouth, which was already sore from Sjogrens Disease, was just on fire. I gave the food to my friend who tolerated it better than I. Then we made our way home When I got home I dropped on the bed and slept a LONG long time.
The next day I needed to go to the pharmacy...we stopped for brunch, then I went to the pharmacy and my driver went to get a hair cut....Timing worked out perfectly. And we made our way home. Again I was so exhausted I could cry. That night I went to bed a 5 Pm and slept til 6 AM when I had ot get up.
I have been reading a book by O Hallesby called "Prayer" and he has an interesting theory that God enters the scene with the answer to our prayers when we finally come to an end of our own efforts and desire, and then, when we are completely helpless,God goes to work. How very very true this is! Have you ever lost something? You look high and low under every couch cushion and in every pocket. Finally in total exasperation you cry out "LORD WHERE IS IT?" and you lift your eyes and the first thing you see is the item you were so frantic about...resting innocently where you had last placed it. Or sometimes you hear a quiet voice saying "did you think of looking in your shoe?" And you say, "Lord, that's ridiculous" And there you look and your car keys were stuffed in to your shoes by your toddler and you NEVER would have thought of looking there.
I have been learning, as I've come to depend on advice from my Lord, to get to the point of helplessness, long before I'd searched the house. I would look around and realize I need help...So I lift my empty hands and say,"Lord, you know where this item is and I do not. It would be foolish for me to search the house when all I need to do is to ask you....so here I am, asking you." And I wait for that quiet voice and sure enough.
Now God's purpose in our lives is not to help us find our car keys...but the car keys teach us two important things. 1) to recognize our helplessness to help ourselves in ANY WAY.
2) To recognize the voice of God and to seek it in our prayer closet. The more we hear from him....the more we will desire to hear from him. And soon it becomes an internal dialogue give and take all day. An ambulance passes by, ask Jesus to help and protect the occupants....Your child misbehaves..you ask the Heavenly FATHER how to discipline.
I got some disturbing news today. I went to the hospital for my monthly IV infusion of a biologic drug to help to fight my autoimmune diseases....and they did bloodwork as a part of the routine. Shortly after they drew my blood, the nurse came over with some papers in her hand and she said, "you bloodwork doesn't look good. Your liver enzymes are very high. We called your doctor and he said not to give you the IV today....you are to call him and set up an appointment for two weeks.
Now this can mean anything. If you are my pessimistic friend it means liver cancer. If you are me,it just means I probably have to switch meds or at the worst, go off medicine and just let the disease have its way with me. In any of the possible scenarios: I have my Father who is the Great Physician. He knows I'm helpless on his operating table. And I know that the skill of my heavenly surgeon will know just what I need to have cut out of me to make me function better...spiritually or physically.
Just remember there are two things you need to have a thriving prayer life. Helplessness and absolute trust. With these in your corner, you CANNOT fail...because your Father cannot fail.
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