This morning I did something awful. I won't go into details except to say that I woke at 4:00AM and I was in terrible pain. I opened my laptop and read my emails. In there was a note from a young lady in Australia with whom I've been corresponding. She confessed that once again she was in a psych hospital. She had overdosed. And what did I do? Instead of expressing love and concern...I said harsh words because she seems to spend more time in of the hospital than out....
It was not my business to say anything in criticism....regardless of my thoughts. when I was in my 20's I too had a huge number of hospital stays. And there were 3 suicide attempts also. And then three years ago-- I had another psychotic break and had 6 more stays and one more suicide attempt. So WHO AM I to sit in judgment?
I would like to take every word back that I typed. I can't though can I?
When my daughter was young a teacher in her Sunday School class had a tube of toothpaste which she squeezed until it was empty...she then had each child attempt to put the toothpaste back into the tube. Needless to say, they all failed. The moral of the story? Words, hurtful words are easy to speak but once spoken, it is impossible to take them back. The only hope we have is in forgiveness--.we can only pray that they will be kind and relinquish us of the burden of our sin against them.
I pray that my Aussie friend will find it in her heart to forgive me. Or at least to give me another chance to be a better friend to her.