I dug up this "gem" from the annals of a different blog I used to keep active. I wanted to share this with you as it holds some keys to my attitude toward the pain a life can bring and why God sometimes sees fit to let us walk through the depths.
It’s 1:45 AM,….thought I’d drop in on your blog, as I’ve spent a lot of tonight praying for you.
I had a couple of thoughts as I read your post:
If God can move a mountain, then moving you or things in your life to get them where He wants them to be (where, btw, they will also be BEST for you) is not beyond him.
The other thing that came to mind when I read your post is the parable Jesus told in Mt. 20:1-16. (It is too long a passage to quote here so you will have to look it up, sorry about that.)
Jesus’ dealing with each one of us is going to be different than it is with others. I too used to struggle as I watched all these bubbly, happy Christians and then looked at the sorrow and pain and struggle of my own life. It seemed to be so unfair. And how could I love a God like that; who would be “kind” to them and “unkind” to me?
Then I learned that in my struggle Jesus was blessing me.
He was having me “go deep” in the things of God…while these happy-go-lucks were only skimming the surface. and the answers that satisfied them, did NOT satisfy me…so I was forced to dig and to plummet more deeply into his grace; to drink of a well whose waters came straight from the earth’s core…. But my friend…those waters will refresh and invigorate and give life to you in ways that casual “praise the Lord anyways” will never bring you. And you will be blessed to know a Jesus of whom they will never even in their wildest dreams catch a glimpse.
Do NOT compare yourself or your walk or your lot in life with others. It is yours . God has entrusted YOU with it and no one else. Those are the terms he has given you to accept or to leave…not them. He is God, the Lord Almighty…we can’t question his ways…and you can scream and cry about the unfairness of it…or you can take what he offers you and find out just WHY it was that that was the manner in which he presented himself to you in that way.
And that finding out is a journey that may take you for the rest of your life.
But one thing is sure; it will grow deeper and sweeter, every minute that you give yourself to him…that you entrust yourself to his hands. That doesn’t mean you won’t have some “hell and high water” to go through on the way; Lord knows, I certainly have. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Because the Jesus I am honored to know today is someone that NO ONE ELSE in the world knows the same way I do. And that is a direct result of the hard road I’ve walked…and the fact that it was God alone, who got me through it.
And his love is so deep and so wide that every believer can say the same thing if they are sincere in their pursuit of him…and the same will be true for them…He cannot be tapped out, overextended or exaggerated….He is too big, too deep and too wide to ever come up short…..
So, yeah. It may be hard. It may not feel satisfying now…or even for the next year or even several years.
But I can swear to you with all the sincerity that is in me and with the knowledge that comes with walking with Jesus for 45 years brings me (and yeah, I took a 15 year “break” from that walk to fall down my private rabbit hole…but you get the idea)–that it will be worth every aching moment of it when one day you get a glimpse of who he is and what he’s been doing of you in these struggles…and you see how he will begin to bless and reward you for being faithful “through it all”….
God bless and keep you in his mighty arms…today and every day….and every lonely night.
your sister in suffering,
And friend in joy,