Well, there is nothing much going on in my life except for my eating plan and weight loss efforts....and the fact that my daughter broke up with her boyfriend and is now living back at home. While it is nice for me to have her here, my heart is breaking that she is so sad. I wish I could give her some hope that the future can be better than her past life has been. I so much know what it is like to allow your mind to think about anything but the future. The future has always looked bleak to me and I know that it does too for my daughter. She is in a place of evaluating her life and is not liking what she sees. Which is sad.
What I see when I look at her is a beautiful girl who has had some incredible and overwhelming struggles to face. She comes from two mentally ill parents and has unfortunately, inherited some challenges. Then some other even worse challenges were thrust upon her. She has overcome major trauma. She put us through some hell when she was in high school....running away twice and then dropping out of school. But miraculously, she graduated and has a diploma. She struggled with a brief period of addiction....and then met her boyfriend who helped her get beyond all of that.
She sees a failure in the mirror. I see a survivor. a perseverer. (I guess that is not a word). A person who has refused to quit when almost anyone else would have. And now she is back on her own looking at a future that still holds challenges. She needs transportation. She needs a job...or to go to school or something.....but those things will come. Right now she needs to heal. And to learn how to smile again.
We have been going for walks every day. But today it is raining. ...so no walks. We are both working on losing some weight and getting healthy. I've been cooking nutritious vegan food and it usually tastes pretty good if I do say so.....not counting last night's meal which was an unmitigated failure....hence DH and daughter ordered out pizza which I refrained from and was rewarded this morning by a two pound loss.
So the family has taken its share of punches. But we are still together. We still love each other and we will persevere. Whether or not the future is bright remains to be seen. I think we have also been bitten by the pessimism that seems to grip our country right now....but God is still on his throne. And he still wants good things for his kids.....and their kids. So one day at a time...we tread on.