Tonight has been a long night....and it's still only 3:30 AM. I've been plagued of late, by severe neck pain that extends from my jaw to my finger tips. And tonight my lower back has added its voice to the chorus....the chorus which includes feet and hands, as always. Tonight I am thinking about Joni Eareckson Tada and her struggle with pain. She has described waking in pain - similar pain, I'm thinking, to what I experience - and not being able to shift in the bed or to get up, as I can, and move to a recliner. She doesn't want to wake Ken, her husband, yet again, so she lies there in agony. I can't imagine what this pain would be like if I were paralyzed like she is. So Joni, know that tonight you have given me courage. If you can endure and still praise Jesus, then so can I.
Tomorrow will be a long day. A day in which my normal levels of fatigue will be magnified by this sleepless night. Some friends from church are supposed to come and help me with cleaning up my lawn for the spring. There's just no way I will be able to work alongside them in this pain.
Pain is a full time job. It's a job with mandatory overtime on the 3rd shift. It's a job without pay and with long lonely hours. I often wonder if Jesus ever experienced pain other than for those hours on the cross. The Gospels give no hint that he did. But if he was tempted in all ways that we are...wouldn't that mean that he had to struggle with long term suffering? There is nothing so tempting as is the abandonment of one's faith as a result of daily pain. There is nothing so trying as to have to come up with a smile when you are in agony. I don't know. Just saying.
My husband just left for work. I'm going to get up and get off of this torturous "rack" of a bed and turn the lights on. I've had enough of this night. It's time for it to be over.