Phil Wickham When My Heart is Torn Asunder

Monday, March 4, 2013

Rhythms of Obedience

Last Wednesday my husband had two more stents added to the three already in his chest.  Now he has a total of three usable coronary arteries open and free of plaque. Those will buy him time until he has reverse the heart disease by diet, weight management and moderate exercise.  It would be so cool to be able to work out with him...and totally awesome if he would buy us twin gym memberships although honestly, I don't see that happening.  My husband is too much of a loner.  It will even be a miracle if he allows me to workout at the same time as him.

As for me, I'm still counting the days until April 2nd, when I'm allowed to exercise again.. My husband has to wait 6 weeks from his stent placement which puts him a week or two following my start date.  We are both anxious to begin.  I'm going to work on outdoor exercise again this year....going to begin a waking program...It will be nice to be able to survive walking these hills once again.  That will also go a long way toward pulmonary rehabilitation.

As I approach Easter this year, my heart is so sad I can barely stand it.  Last year, my friend, Vicki and I held an online Easter service all our own. I'd made an EAster playlist which we watched on Youtube together and then I called her on the phone and read to her a reading I'd selected for the occasion.  We did this at sunrise.  It was our very own sunrise service...both of us were out on our decks watching the sun rise.  I miss my friend with all my heart.  She passed away and went to heaven about a month ago.   I still am not used to the loneliness online.  I have not found anyone to replace her in my chat time.

First I lost David and then Vicki.  I was friends with each of them for about four years....(with Vicki, it may have been three years).  I'm almost too afraid to get a new chat partner....afraid to lose them as well.

I have been bereft of spiritual revelation for quite a while now.  I'm having daily devotions for the first time in quite a while.  I"m reading the Bible in a year.  And I'm also doing another book which is based on the Church calendar.  I'm enjoying both of them a lot and have had mini revelations but nothing momentous enough to share here. I wonder why that is?  Some times I think God takes us through periods of spiritual dryness where we are compelled to be obedient and we enjoy the rhythms of obedience but yet he does not open our eyes to any great new understandings of himself.... He proves himself to be daily faithful....He hears our prayers.  He provides for our needs.  And that must be enough.  Enough for now anyway.
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