Fallen

I just showered and then blew my hair dry.  I went to wind up the cord on the hair dryer when  I was done, and somehow it slipped from my fingers skittering over under the toilet.  I bent for it....and lost my balance as I was leaning forward....I just kept going; leading with my face.  My nose smashed into the toilet tank and I heard the bones crack.  I also scraped a knee badly.

What do you do when you get hurt?
I don't know about you but I seek comfort.  I called my husband really wanting him to say, "Oh no ! are you okay?  Let me help you up."  That's really all I wanted but of course that response belongs in some other make believe script; it's not one that exists around here.
So, I was disappointed.  I was hurt and uncomforted.  So what did I do?  I cursed my husband.
And that was the wrong thing to do.
So now I"m hurt, disappointed (both in my husband AND in myself) and I remain uncomforted.

I feel like a failure.  A failure that got punched in the face by a toilet tank.

I know that Jesus is my husband and the Lover of my soul...  I know that HE WAS there saying just the right things if I'd have listened for them.  I should not have sought comfort from a source that is notoriously bereft of kindness.  Because I sought human comfort; I got none.  ..And a big fight occurred which did not need to have been.

But what do I know? What does the Gospel tell me?
I failed.  but I am not a failure.  Because Jesus became a failure for me: I am free to fail.
I am loved.  No less because of my wrong, harsh words to my husband...  And because my Lord Loves me completely....perfectly....what my husband says and does should not have the power to make me TILT.  I am my Lord's Beloved regardless.

So.
consider it a lesson learned.