Natalie Grant "More than Anything"

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Getting it Done

 It's Sunday.
So far I have done a breathing treatment,
had a very healthy smoothie,
and pedaled on the recumbent bike for 20 minutes
The remaining goal that I have for the day is to hit 3000 steps....maybe I'll do the treadmill later if I need some help with that.

I finally got to the point where I am completely disgusted by my eating habits...They do not make sense, They are not in line with my body's needs or my health goals.  And Yes, I hurt.  And Yes, Moving Hurts.  But heck, so does sitting still.  So really......

It's not fun to want something desperately and then to act in a manner that completely belies your desire.  It's not fun to want something desperately and then to completely sabotage my own efforts to get it.  It's not only not fun.  It's downright stupid.  And being stupid is embarrassing.  I'm tired of embarrassing myself.  Of being embarrassed BY myself.

Cuz face it, after awhile, every time you start talking about how "this time is different.  This time I will succeed" and then after a day or two you fall on your face...well, eventually people start either laughing or else they just wave their hand in a "yeah sure, tell me another story" gesture and go on their way.  It was  the same when I quit smoking.  I quit smoking at least 1,050 times.  And my efforts would last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 days. (and they were USUALLY closer to 45 minutes than to two days)...It became a joke.  NO ONE thought I would ever do it.  I'd psyched myself up SO many times, only to fall flat on my face, no one ever thought there would come a day when I can say, as I can today, '


I did it.
I succeeded at doing what is supposedly almost impossible for a person with SZ to do.  That is because for us, cigs are a form of self medication and we are addicted to them many times more than the average person is addicted.

How did I do it?

Every time I fell flat on my face, I picked myself up, brushed off my determination and went at it again.
And now my eating habits have become something along those same lines.  Day after day, week after week, on Spark People, I publish in my blog there my determination to lose this weight.  My absolute bedrock agreement with myself to exercise and eat right.  And every time, thus far, I've fallen flat on my face. (in the past year and a half.  Two and  a half years ago, I'd lost 70 lbs. by making healthy choices.)  And that's really all it is.  A healthy choice.  one healthy choice at a time. I don't  need to look at the close to 100 pounds I would like to lose (or at least 70)...I just have to look at what I'm doing in the minute I 'm in and make sure it's the right thing.

This goes for anyone trying to accomplish or give up any thing. Persist.  Make one healthy choice in the minute you're in .And eventually if you do not listen to the nay-sayers and the haters....if you do not listen to your own misgivings...and hateful self-talk....eventually you WILL get it done.  Whatever it is.

If I can do it; so can you.
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