I know I just already tired your eyes, by my previous post (and maybe tired your patience too)...but I promise this post has a different attitude. With one small Facebook message: God spoke oceans to me, showed me the selfishness and error of my thinking.
For some time I've been whining to God about my "uselessness" and inability to serve him or serve others...as my friends serve me--by driving people to appointments; cooking for them when they are sick...cleaning their homes when they can't. I have bucked against the humiliation of having to accept oceans of good from them....and to be able to give nothing back....not even a Christmas gift.
But I just got a FB message from a friend; a family of four who depends on me, on the other side of the world. She was thanking me and mourning her inability to pay me back in any way. And God nudged me and said to me, "Sound familiar??" She sounds just like me...to my friends here. And she feels useless and helpless in her surroundings too...poverty trapping them like a noose; having been abandoned by a husband, leaving her to care for three children...which in that country is not only social stigma; but really a death sentence.
Four years ago...when she still had a computer...we met on a social website...and quickly became friends. Her faith in and love for the Lord has spoken to me many times. Things have continued to spiral down for her: sickness plagues her and her children; her computer is long gone--and thus contact with me has been severely limited....her work has been interrupted often by her illnesses--which means even less for them to eat.
I have been honored and blessed to be able to help them...just a little. (And I would never ever have told any of you this because I am NOT in anyway trying to toot my own horn....It is essential that I tell you this in order to describe to you the message God just gave me...which I feel may really help some of you) They have depended on me...JUST AS I HAVE DEPENDED ON MY FRIENDS HERE. And she feels helpless and useless because she cannot pay me back in any way. JUST AS I HAVE FELT HERE WITH MY FRIENDS.
Do you maybe see where I am going with this?
God develops humility in us...by giving us situations of dependence on others (His hands of help and healing --as my church calls it)...and often we cannot do a single thing in return to show our gratitude or thanks other than to simply speak our thanks.
in other situations God uses US to help someone who also may be unable to pay us back. And He does the same with them....and so on and so on...goes the chain of humility and help.
Are you feeling useless because of your illness or disability? Think carefully: is there someone who needs you or depends on you? maybe your children...or an elderly parent?? IF not...if you find that really and truly God is not using you anywhere then please consider opening your eyes to what HE is trying to show you here...and look for opportunities to serve where the other person can do nothing to pay you back. Maybe that means adopting a child through COMPASSION or through another similar ministry for a small amount each month. Or if you truly can't do that...then if you have physical health: maybe you can clear snow from an elderly person's sidewalk and car...without asking for any payment...or picking up groceries from the store for a shut in....or cooking a meal for someone who cannot do it for themselves or donate to a food pantry.
There is ALWAYS a way that God will allow you to be used. For my friend right now; her ministry is to her three little children who desperately need her. Keep your eyes open and look for ways to be a ministry to someone.
I was not thinking of my friends across the world who need me when I was feeling like going belly up and cashing it in...in my prior post. They DEPEND on me....and for me to hasten my departure from earth before God is done using me would be wrong. The sense of being USEFUL to God is strong medicine...and I thank my friend for the dose of it that she gave me this morning.