Phil Wickham When My Heart is Torn Asunder

Friday, September 9, 2011

WARNING! Discouragement ahead...

I know I need to write....and seem to have absolutely nothing to say.  I could tell  you of my latest health problems...a shoulder and an elbow that need replacement surgery.  The shoulder will be done in October and there is a 4 month recovery period...My arm will be immobilized for 6 weeks following the shoulder.  and they will work on the elbow following that, hopefully before the end of the year....And I have a secret - which I haven't told my doctor yet: The other shoulder is in bad shape also. 

But I'm sure that's not why you dropped by.  You want to hear something amusing.  Something profound.  I am kind of high and dry in that regard.  It is all I can do  to get through a day.  Health concerns really have eclipsed everything else.  I just started a new drug called Imuran for the PA (Psoriatic Arthritis for  you newbies to my blog).  It is a TNF Blocker and is very damaging to the immune system (which means it's doing its job.) and when combined with the MTX (methotrexate) I take by injection once  a week, it is about as powerful as Humira or Enbrel...the drugs of choice for this disease and it is making me feel pretty sick. Although it is gradually improving with time.\

Imuran is not an optimal or even good choice to treat PA,...but since every other drug has either failed to help me, or been vetoed by my infectious disease  doctor as being too risky for me to take with my propensity to pick up killer infections.  So this basically is my last hope to slow down this disease which is rather rapidly munching away at my body.

And asthma has been a plague lately.  I even consented to take a short steroid taper to try to manage it.  Plus, I am getting fatter by the day as I cannot do any exercise at all and the meds I take all cause weight gain.

Do I sound depressed?  Well...I would call it "discouraged" more than depressed.  I am worried about how I will manage here alone in my house with two bum arms...one being totally unusable.  I can't even fathom how I will get dressed.  It is a terrifying thought.  Plus I've fallen twice this past week.  What if I fall with a post surgical arm?? Talk about "rearranging your face"!  I have a bad feeling that this will require a stay in a nursing home...If I can get into the sub-acute facility I was in for my last two hips...I would be happy.  It was a pleasant place with kind staff and skilled PT's.  But anywhere else?? I would be afraid that that would be my entree' into institutional living...that I would never be able to leave and live independently anymore.  Things are changing for me physically -- and not in a positive direction.

So now that I've completely put a damper on your day (that is, if  you were even affected by this blog at all)...I'd better end...before I get started on the holdup with insurance approval on my first level flooding left from Irene.
:P













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