One thing you don't want to do is to drop your brand new Mp3 player down the toilet.... and that's exactly what I did in the middle of the night, last night. (yes, I sleep with it on...It helps to deafen Voices...and also keeps me from hearing sounds around the house which my mind can alter to think that someone has broken into the house...or worse---I'm not fearful: just paranoid :) )
Anyway...I snatched it out just as it began to disappear with the flush. Perfect timing: Both for the fall to occur as I was flushing and also for my grab. So I dried it off praying that God would be merciful and allow it to work again. You see, as I said I need an Mp3 player desperately... and I couldn't afford a new one when my old Zune gave up the ghost after four years of constant service. And I found this one reconditioned one on Amazon. It was perfect. It looked brand new, had a touchscreen that was just too cool...and did everything but clean my room for me :) ....and best of all, cost only $85....for a new one it would have been $300 to get an equal one. They had just ONE...and I got it.
Or rather, HAD it....as I was looking this morning as I watched a fireworks display of colored static and odd images appear on the unit...and the screen went black. So I did the only thing I could think of...which was to immerse it into a bag of rice, as I'd heard from my dad (when my daughter dropped her new cell phone into the whirlpool tub while she was getting a pedicure...to the amusement of everyone in the store), that it will absorb the water out of the inner parts of immersed electronics. But, it won't always work...(as with my daughter's cell phone). I waited for a LONG 12 hours and then couldn't stand the suspense any longer, and took it out and turned it on.
So I thought in desperation, maybe the short had drained the battery....so I plugged it into my laptop and waited, anxiously staring at the screen. Slowly, the battery symbol appeared on the screen, indicating that the battery was completely drained. It took lots of messing around, but I got the computer to recognize the Zune again so it would sync...and when I finally tried to listen to music, not knowing if all my music had been erased or distorted, I heard wonderful, clear music... And everything worked except for one button which may recover in time.
And it occurred to me that we often don't depend on God --until something goes down the toilet...(that shouldn't). And then we run to him, crying "Please, PLEASE help me!!" I've been hearing a lot recently (although for the life of me, I don't recall the source) how God wants us to not even draw a breath without depending on him, dwelling in him (and WHY doesn't my spell check recognize the word "dwelling??"). Sorry too many aside comments here...I'm talking about something serious.
Obedience, dependence, trust.
Those three characteristics are to mark our lives as his children. And you can't have a single one without it branching into and developing the other ones. They are all interconnected and woven together....to form a beautiful bond between the Lord and us. Like a baby dwelling in the womb are we to rely on him...and be comforted by him...and to respond to his movements.
Obedience. Dependence. Trust.
Not only when there is a crisis. But every moment of every day. Is it hard to maintain this state? Well, for me, it is....sometimes. But for that babe in the womb, it is effortless. And vital. Without it there would be no life.
I need to find that place of rest and trust...most of all, of dependence. If there's one thing that has marked my life--both for good and bad--it is an independent spirit. "NO! I'll do it MYSELF!" was likely my first sentence.
I really don't want it to be my last as well.
Hopefully I will learn - ever more perfectly and deeply - how to dwell in the womb of God..