Phil Wickham When My Heart is Torn Asunder

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

It's Official!

After dreaming of going to another Greater Philadelphia Christian Writers' Conference for two years...Since the closing ceremonies of the one I attended two years ago....I've thought "I wonder if I'll ever be able to attend another one.?" Last year was a loss, having just been discharged from the hospital following hip replacement surgery... And considering how my pain levels have been since then, I really thought I'd never be able to go again...Plus, my "ride" to Philly was an elderly writer and his wife who used to attend our church...and he's had two strokes and is no longer able to travel. So that was that.

And then I got a letter from the organizer and director of the GPCWC offering me a great break on the price... But how to get there??
Suddenly I had a brainstorm...My daughter had recently gone into Philly with her boyfriend who lives not to far out side of it...And said boyfriend is almost always at our house! But thinks nothing of driving there. So I was a really rude person and asked him if he would drive me there. And he said "sure!"

One more problem though...I still have a lot of trouble walking and if you look at the walkway in the pics which are included...You 'll see why I'm worried. That is the walk between the dorm and the rest of the campus...LONG and UPHILL. Plus, how could I ever tolerate sitting in those college desk/chairs?? I would be howling within minutes. So ? Brainstorm #2.: Take wheelchair with my seat pads and neck rests and lots of cushions...and it wouldn't be too bad! I'd always have a seat. And I wouldn't have to climb that walkway! So I told the director I'd be coming in a wheelchair...and that got me a private room with a private bath! And THAT took care of another problem...I snore horribly...due to a bad case of sleep apnea. And NO ONE could stand to room with me...two years ago, my bipap broke in the middle of the night and my symphony began. My roommate left in search of a couch. and the next day packed her bags ...and very politely told me "sorry , but I need to sleep"

Well, I didn't want that to happen to anyone again...and NOW it WON'T.

So nothing left to do but to submit my registration online...and I'm IN! LOOK out Philly here I come!

But I am, on the other hand, terrified...
I rarely leave my house. And almost never am alone in a place full of strangers. And I wonder if the old paranoia that strikes me often in shopping malls, will there too , make it's appearance. And will I remember the things I need to remember?...without any prompts from anyone? And what if... And what if.....?

just suck it up and deal.
I know it could be GREAT or it could be a living hell. And the direction it goes in does not fall within my powers of control. So if I can't control it, why worry about it? It will be what it will be. Just leave it in God's hands. duh. And remember:He will go before me and follow after me as well. He will hold my hand to keep me from stumbling. He is my healer and deliverer. He will never leave me nor forsake me. "So why are you giving it a second thought??"
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