As you may have gathered from my last post, this has been a challenging week. I've been going through what may be my worst systemic flare of the arthritic disease from which I suffer. Because one of the major locations of the damage from this illness is in my spine, it involves maybe more pain than a "normal" flare up of RA or PsA. And this particular event was remarkable in the fact that it seemed to involve my entire body and came on with low grade fever alternating with chills and subnormal temps. So now, my hands are ballooning from the swelling, but thank the Lord, the pain is diminished a bit today. Now, get me straight..I'm not going for any jogs or doing any workouts with my best bud, Leslie (Sansone, queen of walk aerobics), but at least I'm not writhing in my bed with the severity of the pain. I even went grocery shopping today.
I really did NOT want to grocery shop...but it was either that or starve as old Mother Hubbard seemed to be the one who'd done the organizing in my cabinets of late. So now, --way too much money later,-- the fridge is bulging with veggies, the fruit bowl is full, and I have a list of menu possibilities for my husband and myself to share. But the trip came with a price. And that pain is what is keeping me up tonight.
Tomorrow (or rather, today, as daylight is a mere two hours away) I am determined to "start over" on my Spark plan...at SparkPeople.com...That is how I lost 60 pounds last year. And the way I've gained 10 back is by doing just what I'm doing at this moment: Munching. And the plan is simple. Eat healthily and get your butt moving. Being active is the core of Spark People...many of the members have become runners....Even people who'd weighed 300+ pounds, now, hundred(s) of pounds later, are entering 5K's and half marathons and some even doing marathons.
I confess: I'm jealous of the people whose good health allows them to run...And maybe someday, I will get to the point where jogging isn't out of the question (although I want to RUN; to FLY),...but it won't be with a mouth full of bagel as mine is at the moment. I'm heartily regretting my purchase of these round bread donuts of destruction at the moment. I only wanted six but there was a "buy 6 and get 6 free" sale. So natch I got 12.
But I--toad-swollen 48 year old mama that I am, coughing with asthma (as I am at the moment)--need to take maybe a little different of an approach. And that approach will mainly involve SHUTTING MY MOUTH to sweets, breads, and all things in abundance. I will have to quite severely cut back on my intake and strictly monitor my choices. NOT that I am not allowed to have anything I want to eat on SP..I just , for myself, am choosing to eschew sugar--because that is my weak point; that and breads. So I am going to amend my choices, monitor my serving sizes...and be as active as possible. Even if I am lying in bed...no reason not to heft some light weights, right?? Or to do leg raises and bridge-ups and crunches in the bed.
My core and my arms have gotten sorely flabby after the tight niceness at which I was last fall. I have probably regained even more inches than I have pounds....as fat weighs less than muscle...and takes up more room. And even as I make these plans there is the Voice of Doom which whispers in my ear (or is that my mother??) "You'll never do it. You are sick. How can you go outside and risk walking again? Wasn't it all your exercising which caused your dislocations last year??. and I have to answer that voice with Truth, which means admitting that no, it wasn't the exercising. It was my laxness with the Hip Precautions. Because I bent to the floor when something fell which was out of my reach. Because I believe my recliner is a great culprit in causing me to break precautions as it involves a decidedly verboten position in order to get up off of it.
And the scary thing is that just in the last week, I've begun to, once more, occasionally do these things. And I've felt the pull in my hips. And an occasional slip where the joint starts to come apart -holding breath--and breathing again as it once more slides back into place. WHY??? Why is it so very hard for me to be obedient and compliant to these three rules of position and motion?? There are really just three things which I must avoid. Unfortunately they are necessary for a million activities and are sprinkled liberally through our daily lives. And my rebellious, impatient, independent self revolts against these constraints and ....CHEATS...here, there, once , twice....three times a day. And I know I'm only buying trouble for myself. And my weight gain and loss of muscle strength too are all deficits to my hips' optimal and safe performance.
So, here and now. I am pledging myself to cooperation. Both to my hip precautions, and to the healthy lifestyle I am choosing. Here. Today. Now.