Phil Wickham When My Heart is Torn Asunder

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Putting it all together:

I am a daughter of the King…seated already in heavenly places, recipient at this present time of the resources of heaven: the gifts, the intimacy with my Father, the blessings inherent to a child of royalty, the promise of impending greater blessing and growing authority and an unshakeable security of a future that will not flicker, fade or perish.

And it is all being purified and banged into some kind of intangible corporeality amidst the furnace of aches and pains, frustrations, love exchanged for hatred, sickness and continual pain of my life. A constant belief and life of giving I’ve chosen over one of bitterness and resentment; a life of faith and trust, a life of obedience and confession is one where I keep an open out held hand outstretched, with the other one held securely by my Father in a balance of receiving and outpouring of the understandings and resources He gives me as I then pass them on to others.

….Knowing all along that it is the smiles exchanged between me and my Father that is the biggest draw to those hungry, lonely, aching masses…not really looking for a handout…just for a SMILE like that. A proud, “Your one of my favorite Kids” – smiles. I get them all the time…but I’m still not real clear on why. All I know is my Dad loves me, though I’ve certainly given Him reason to cry some big tears.

I don’t always understand the things my Dad tells me to do; like to go and embrace someone that doesn’t smell so pleasant, to pray for someone who is cursing me, or to do a favor for someone when my own body is screaming out of its own pain….and I don’t always do these things perfectly or immediately. That’s why I’m still alive; I’m still learning, growing and in training for the really BIG stuff ahead. But most of all, I just want to see Him smile at me with that “That’s my girl”-smile, that I love so much.

My Father has some odd ways of doing things. People have had the nerve to call HIM the crazy one or the fool…or have had the gall to play HIM for a fool…Just because they don’t comprehend someone who thinks outside of the dimensions of time, energy and space, doesn’t give them the right to think they know any better than He does! You see, my Father is not motivated by bribery, or lies, or get rich quick schemes. He is not into “bless me here, bless me right now” scenarios either.

He runs by his own Timeless ways, in His own schedule, not hurried nor slowed by anyone or anything….And it is guaranteed to get all done, right in the perfect nick of time. I love that about Dad. He always has to squeeze that beautiful laugh out of a moment where there was hands sweating and nail biting a moment before. That laugh that says, “It just couldn’t have been any better than this, now could it??”

The world is full of moments like these that my Dad has arranged so carefully….my own life is chock full of them…but we, like the evening news, have ways of fixing our eyes on the pain, the dirt, the suffering and the frightening things instead of on the stuff that REALLY matters and we miss out on so much of the wonder around us….but that doesn’t stop my Dad from bringing on the good stuff…it’s all around us…Open your eyes and wipe your glasses clean. Focus your eyes on Jesus and what is coming NEXT and soon you will have eyes to see and hears to hear, the way my Dad wants to perfect in all of us.
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