It is Well with my Soul BYU Vocal Point

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A Grateful Heart

The following is a re-post from a blog which I deleted a while ago, but thought that maybe you might find it helpful.


I have been exploring the "Treasures" that God has given me in the midst of Darkness. This blog post discussed the treasure of Gratitude. For more on that topic--a different and more current take on it, see the following link from my "other" blog: http://lunamosity.wordpress.com/2009/08/15/grace-or-gross-injustice/


This is one of those times when I feel compelled to post, motivated by some kind of obligation or sense of duty rimmed with a restless creative ambition, and have absolutely no idea what I will find coming out of these fingers to land on your screen. So then, you and I are taking this journey together--the voyage into my mind--on completely equal footing...hand in hand, neither one leading or being led and neither of us knowing where we will land.


I'm home from the hospital. Returning to our small Pocono mountain town with it's specialty shops, art galleries and antique shops laced with convenience stores and smattering of churches yesterday felt to me like a precious gift. To own a home, to have a husband who is employed and to be able to survive in times which for many others, are laced with hardship is an incomparable gift... But somehow my sense of being blessed surpassed all of those factors.


I have terrible health problems of the kind which make anticipating where I will find myself from one day to the next impossible; frequent hospitalizations and times when I have such trouble breathing that I am afraid to go to sleep because I do not know if I will wake. I deal with constant severe pain and a crippling disease that is destroying all my joints and my spine. This, too, renders the future unknown and makes it one I probably do not want to foretell.


But yesterday, driving up the winding mountain road to my home, I was bowled over by a sense of blessing. Right this moment, I can breathe. Right this moment, I can walk--even if it is with difficulty. Right this moment, my family waits for me to pull into the driveway. I can go into the house and chose a meal to prepare, I can go outside into my garden if I like... '


Maybe some of you are not GETTING this; not relating to why these things are so special. But if you've ever been a prisoner; if you've ever been held hostage by your own body; if you've ever been institutionalized for a long period of time--then you might get a glimmer of the joy that coursed through my soul yesterday and continues today. There is no such thing as an insignificant freedom...The only freedom that is diminished into unnoteworthiness, is a freedom that is not acknowledged, loved and greeted with gratitude.
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