I don't think I will ever have an Easter morning without thinking of my good friend, Vicki. We were both too sick and disabled to go to church.....So I made an Easter playlist (My Easter Playlist) and I selected a Scripture and a devotional passage to read and we got on our phones and laptops and we went to sit outside and we had our OWN sunrise Easter service...and I have to say it was the most memorable, beautiful Easter I ever had, worshiping with a good friend 2000 miles away. And now, Vicki is gone....worshiping Jesus face to face and waiting for me to join her there in the Kingdom.
I made the comment to my daughter that it was a shame that her boyfriend has to work on Easter....and she laughed and said "Come on mom, it isn't like it's a national holiday or anything!" Easter has always been my favorite holiday. Yes, even better than Christmas. Now, with mom gone, it will be forever different than it was years ago...but the essential meaning of the day remains regardless of how or with whom you celebrate.
This year, my dad is bringing over a lasagna he got for "free" from the grocery store as a prize for spending a certain amount of money. We are adding to it, salad and bread and dessert. My daughter and husband will be here also. My plan was to attend church, the outdoor service and then the breakfast which follows. There is one more service after that but it will be impossible for me to be there that long. The problem right now is that my neck is suffering immense pain. I can't imagine how I will make it through even one segment of the day's activities.
I can no longer take my current pain med....and possibly any other pain med as well. This past week I took one pill ...with the knowledge that some confusion and delirium would result. I thought since I took the pill at night, that I would simply sleep through the confusion and by morning would be fine. Well, there was no sleep that night. I was extremely confused...couldn't figure out how to sign on to my laptop.... And this delirium lasted for 4 days....I couldn't even work my oven /stove. I couldn't write a coherent sentence. It is very clear that my days on this pain med are over. All well and good---but I MUST do something about this pain. It cannot be simply left alone. I cannot simply grit my teeth and endure it. If I do not find something that will limit my pain, my life is over. That is not an exaggeration. I will be unable to do anything or go anywhere.
Is this where God is taking me? Is this the cross? If so, then Easter is even more highly significant. "Pain endures for the night; but Joy comes in the morning." Ps 30:5 Easter is a celebration of an event in history that replays itself--resounds--into the lives of redeemed sinners. It is also a promise to those of us who suffer. This suffering will not last forever--but his Favor will. We will have rejoicing rather than pain. Joy, rather than sorrow. One look at His face will make every twinge, every screaming agony, fade to nothing. One touch from His hand will eliminate all suffering from our memory. It is this hope that keeps me alive. (and by "hope" I don't mean "the possibility of a desired outcome."...No it means "a solid confidence in a reality that is already attained.")
So whatever your circumstances-health, finance, shelter, hard relationships. homelessness.illness disability I am praying for you tonight. Just know that it doesn't have to end here. The One who defeated death and healed many and made Heaven a reality for us--is right here. Tell him your concerns; ask for his healing. Look forward to the wonder to come.
And Vicki, my sister, enjoy this Easter in Heaven. And it will be sweet when at last, we meet.
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