I know I have vanished “into thin air”…..Not
really into thin air but into heavy, humid, insufferably hot air. I am in a massive county run rehab facility
in Orange County NY.(and the AC doesn't work in my room). It is an immense
building full of the forgotten. There
are newly disabled people here and people who have been disabled most or all of
their lives. There are the elderly---those with committed loving families and
those whose families are long gone or who have put them here and left them to
deal with illness and encroaching age alone.
I am in the very odd position of being a “youngster”
among my white haired cronies here. I
am considered to be a mere youth…yesterday a sweet lady asked my age and
expressed surprise when I told her “53” because she thought I was “in your 20’s”
LOL. I do consider myself to be blessed
because I am not yet at the point in my life where this is a one way admission….I’m
not yet here to live out my remaining days.
However, I am disabled enough for this to be a little “too close to
home.”
It is a different way of life here. One thing I must say. Paint is fading. Floor tiles are cracked and
chipped. But the smiles of the staff are
shiny and bright. They like their jobs.
They enjoy their coworkers. They care
about making life comfortable for these inhabitants. There is kindness, humor, and concern. I cannot speak highly enough of this wonderful
bunch of people.
I do not know how long I will be here. It depends on how quickly I can figure out a
way to get myself up the 6 deck steps leading to my front door at home. At best, it will be a week or two; at worst,
another 4 weeks. This has put a huge
dent in my resolve to bring this endeavor to completion. My original plan was
to have this surgery; recover; and then repeat on my right foot as well.
However, I never anticipated the level of disruption to my life that this would
entail. It never occurred to me that I
might be taken from my life and placed on the sidelines for weeks. The degree of recovery this would require never
occurred to me.
It is true that I was
extremely weakened even prior to my surgery due to the weeks and months I’d
spent in my recliner when my muscles were deteriorating and flexibility and
strength were waning because I was in too much pain to walk or work out. I am now
trying to retrieve that lost strength.
My physical therapist here told me, “Yes, get strong and have the other
surgery and don’t let it throw you to the degree this has.” If only that was possible! I’m not saying it
isn’t … I just need to creatively approach a method of adapting the stair rails
at home so that I might lift myself with my arms….It might even be possible to
do with crutches. I don’t know. What I do
know is that a strong body will go far in buying me independence. It is my goal to work to attain that
strength while I’m here. I know that, despite the hardships I have faced here, I have gained strength, courage and resolve from my stay here...as well as made some valuable new friends.
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